Please tell me if there are any innocent explanations to this??

[WithDoubtInMind]

What would be your gut feeling if you found an email address in your dh's wallet and it belonged to a woman. (i just typed into face book)

I have never ever mistrusted DH before but I need to be certain about this. What should I do???

Please help before I go mad

That is a good thing then.
I too was very dependent on my dh - he did have an affair.
We have/are working through it and the best thing to have come from it all is that i now know myself better than before.

We both now work on our marriage and in so many ways things are better - especially comminication now.

Good luck.

I admire you working through it. I think a long talk is in order with DH.

Thanks - it is not easy, and i really hate the way some people make me out to be a complete fool for giving him this chance.

We all need support during our marriage and i really hope for your sake that that is all it is with your h.

We have found relate a great help too - but so have friends and family.

Please dont be afraid to ask for help - you do not have to stuggle alone.

Hope you have spoken to him about this - if you don't you will be reading into everything he says and does and before you know it in your head hes having an affair and the reality could be so different.

I haven't yet but you're right I should. I will do it tonight but not sure how to go about it

Do you know what his views are on fidelity? You could bring up the conversation saying 'a friend.......' and see if you can gauge his reations.

I am not very good at this though and i would just have to be honest and say what i found.

Good luck

My gut feeling would be Dh had done nothing wrong....I would just ask hima bout it.

I'm worried about pissing him off for not trusting him. Worried i'll create an issue out of something that is completely innocent

He was probably on the women's forum to ask for advice on how to deal with a psychotic wife.

Jesus, really.

Maybe I'll wait til he's in the shower when I ask him. I could stand there with the pice of paper and a knife

Congratulations on never having had an emotional wobble or feeling of insecurity though you are indeed a better person than I.

Oh, I've had my emotional wobbles all right, it just takes more than a friggin' email address to trigger an attack of the heeby-jeebies!!!

Get a grip, innit!!

How about googling the email address? You might then see whether it's someone who might well be a work contact. Not to say that this alone will put your mind at rest, but it might give you some ideas before you talk to him about it. FWIW, I also think there could be many innocent reasons for this.

WDIM - how did it go?

just an idea but if he has her email address in his wallet then he probably doesn't know it off by heart. So you could create another one as similar as possible and write to him on it. Then see how he responds. (e.g. if she is [email protected], you could create one called [email protected] or yahoo.com etc). Just say something innocuous like "Hi Here is my new email address" and then don't sign it.
If he replies then you will know from the reply how things are.

It is just a thought and maybe others on here would be able to tell me why it is a stupid dangerous thing to do, but right now to me it seems like it would be a way to know without him knowing that you are behind it.

If you are seriously interested ins omeone, as a friend or something more, you'll have their email address saved in your mail program, and then pretty soon you won't need to write it down because you know it anyway.
So I'd guess whatever the address is, it's something new and therefore not yet a threat, and I agree there could be a million reasons for it, loads of them innocent. If you don't want to confront him and risk looking like a suspicious plonker, then monitor his behaviour and see if he's different or shifty. I really doubt its anything though!
Take care
x

Whether we agree with the OP's actions or not, she has said she believes she has PND, so calling her psychotic seems less than constructive.

WithDoubt - please try not to panic too much - an email address could be anything and is probably nothing. In answer to your question, there are loads of potentially innocent explanations.

And see your GP about PND. Perhaps you could raise this with DP in the context of not feeling too good anyway, as in "I am so not myself, I even panicked when I found this in your wallet." Just make sure he actually tells you who it is.

I suspect it's nothing to worry about and I wouldn't confont him about it as it would reveal your somewhat untrustworthy behaviour by going through his belongings.Remember that chronic distrust can eat away at the best of relationships.

Symptomatic I think of your underlying insecurity. Has he given you any grounds for suspecting his behaviour? If not,I would forget about this and ask yourself whether you are depressed and need some help....two young kids can be hard work and you might just need a break to chill out and recharge your batteries.

Hi, I didn't ask him about it the end, although he knew something was wrong. In the end we had a LONG talk about how I was feeling and I admitted that I was feeling insecure about our relationship and generally pretty low.

I'm not going to bring it up as I don't want to plant a seed of mistrust in our relationship that has never been there before and I'm not going to snoop through his things for clues, I think I'd just send myself barmy.

CheerfulVicky you make a good point. DH has an amazing memory so I guess if he was emailing someone he didn't know about he would have committed it to memory.

Thank you for helping to put things into perspective. This has opened my eyes to a few issues which I need to work on. I think my time would be better spent working on those.

Thank you for the support - you may very well have saved my sanity (in more ways than one!)

I'm really glad you talked to your DH about how you're feeling and I hope he was able to reassure you.

I would just ask... wouldn't have thought someone would give their e-mail to someone they met and fancied, wouldn't they give their number?

Prob innocent

oops sorry didnt read 2nd page before I posted