I finally finished with my darling BF over the weekend. We both get on really well and adore each other, really.
There's been a dodgy undertone though, mainly because I have never been to his end, ever, he only ever came to me. We discussed this and he came clean and said it was because it was the marital home and his ex's family are very much in his life supporting him with his child (picking up from school, coming round to keep an eye on him when he's working a late shift etc) they may even housekeep for him etc, seems they are very involved in his life. OK, I said, fair enough. Was understanding and considerate but stressed that a time should come when he should make steps to introduce me, or at least let me come there when it is convenient (like, make it convenient). It's very hard to have a proper 3 dimensional relationship otherwise, no?
We've been seeing one another for about 20 months now... long enough. Nothing wrong at all between us as two people, apart from the fact that he umm's and ahhh's when I sugest coming to his, I see it stresses him, and stop pushing, and again he comes to me. We live a couple hours train ride apart. He's not married, for sure, as he comes here with his lad of 6 years old.
This weekend my DD was away and I said it would be a good thing to get together and have some alone time, suggested that if it was hard for him, work, finding babysitter for his DS etc, I could go there. Just me...
Ummed and ahhhed... I dropped back and said OK... (as usual) you come to me...
It suddenly hit me that if he's making me sit on the sidelines, I am not a priority. He had plenty of time to sort out for me to go there... If we ever got together (which we had planned eventually would be) he'd do this in other things that life pushes our way no? I'd always go back burner...
So with a sad heart, I called and drew the line. He got all pouty and 'we've had this conversation so many time'. Thing is it stays with the same parameters.
What could I do?
Strangely enough I was waiting for the big 'pain' thing. It hasn't happened yet... too early maybe? That feeling of sadness that I have ended something when really between us it was so good. Just that extra dimension missing that is all important for a proper healthy relationship. Now the thoughts of, 'have I done the right thing?'... I have haven't I?. It's a lop sided relationship and I should realise it's a no-goer if it stays like that.
Nobody in their right mind would have a relationship of this sort and think it ok surely? Not after such a long time... I am not being unreasonable am I? Haven't I been very patient and reasonable to have let it go on like this - this long?