do your parents and/or your in-laws pay for things for your dcs when you're out together?

[TheWheelsOnTheBusHaveFallenOff]

Just interested in different approaches ... if I'm out with my mum and ds, mum insists on paying for anything that ds has - lunch, clothes, anything at all. It gets embarrassing because I don't want to take advantage and I always offer to pay but she obviously loves to buy him things - not necessarily expensive toys, just anything that's "for" him - even if it was a pack of wipes or cough medicine!

MIL on the other hand never pays for anything. I want to emphasise that I don't think she's mean or anything, it just struck me because this weekend she and I took ds for a haircut, she was dead keen to come and see him having his hair done but didn't make to pay for it, which my mum would have done as a natural conclusion to taking her grandson to the hairdressers.

I absolutely didn't EXPECT MIL to pay, just made me wonder if I'm experiencing polar opposites on the grandparents paying for things front and what other people's experiences are.

Gosh you've got the extremes there! Neither set of grandparents here would do things like assume they will pay for lunch/haircuts/clotes/etc for DS, though they'd all probably offer to buy him a treat if we were out somewhere (back when he was small I mean, he's a teen now!). OTOH my dad will generally try to pay for meals etc for everyone if we are out together, but that wouldn't be specifically about DS.

Yes.

I never ask them.

They do it and then the DDs sit and write them a thank you or phone them and thank them.

She's your mum and I expect she looks on it as treating you as much as treating her grandchild.

Your MIL doesn't have that close bond with you and so perhaps doesn't feel the maternal urge to treat you.

Does she treat your husband?

My parents send them gifts at random and come over to visit loaded with clothes for them.

Then whilst they are here they take the car and take them out all day to Glasgow, restaurants, the ballet, museums, etc.

We're eternally grateful.

my parents spoil my 3 with everything but my IL`s dont spend a penny!!!

my mum is about half way between yours she would pay for food when we were out and little toys but wouldn't buy them clothes or haircuts. My MIL buys them loads of treats and toys through out the year. If we go out for tea or something I pay for her food etc as both PIL are retired and struggling with money atm.

my mum is the same, she buys everything for ds when we are out together and buys my lunch too even though i try and pay myself. she is always posting presents to ds as well, the latest was a pumpkin outfit

mil doesnt pay for anything when we are out but sends presents through the post which she has knitted.

No. My mum would like to but I wouldn't let her as she's not got much cash. In laws don't pay for anything except birthday and Xmas presents. Don't generally show an interest in going anywhere with them either.

When it was just one child my parents did. Now it's 3 of them I always give my parents money when they take them out.

My il's do this, but only once or twice a year when they visit, or we're visiting them. Also they are quite wealthy, and fil still works.
My parents are in a different financial position, on pensions, and don't buy the children treats or meals unless it's a specific reason like a birthday etc. They also have kept so much stuff from when I was a kid that they pull out toys at their house that ds1 often goes home with!

My mum always buys stuff for my dds, lunch, clothes, toys etc, will pay for parking and lunch too if we're out together.

My in laws don't pay for a thing but then I don't go out with them so much.

My mum nortmally at least goes halves on stuff for the kids with me.

I am very lucky in that she and my dad contribute to lots of things for the dc including school trips etc.

This week my dad obviously felt ds was deprived in someway as he sent over a box of coco pops with a ribbon wrapped round it. I rang him to ask why and he said 'well i like them, and i thought ds probably does to so I got him a box'.

LOL

No

and they dont do anything with them.

They did send them a fiver each as we are going away for a couple of days.

They do buy presents from time to time but dont spend any time with them of value.

I don't have this issue any more as both parents now gone but we did take them out to lunch and take wine and presents over. They also paid for things for us too, and spoiled DS rotten.

Meant to add, my children don't see their grandparents from their dads side, but I know that if they did, they'd not pay for anything for them.

in laws - zilch
my parents would often pay for lunch but rarely anything else

my parents score bigtime on free childcare though

Both mum and MIL will pay for things when out with dd's. Although i find it easier to ask mum not to.

MIL does it because she treats her other grandchildren. Mum does it because my 2dd's are her the only grandchildren she will have.

Both are always available for childcare at anytime.