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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I am absolutely LIVID with DP. I feel like dragging his arse from bed and dumping him literally into the road.

47 replies

tiredemma · 19/10/2008 07:57

Dp went out yesterday to rugby, taking DS1 with him. Returned at 5pm and said he was going to the local with some of his rugby friends.

Pub is half a mile away, he drove the car and said he would walk back (it takes 10 mins, all downhill I do it everyday come rain or shine, the pub is right by the school) or get a taxi.

Anyway I hear him come it at around 12.15am and he comes to bed. I fal back to sleep, only to be woken an hour later by him pissing into the wardrobe. I yell at him and he goes to the bathroom, returning with the hiccups. Generally keeping me awake.

I have work today so I get my pillows and go into DS2's bed.

I Got up at 7.30- opened DS2's curtains. THe car is parked outside, meaning that he has driven the car home pissed.

I go into our bedroom and wake him up. I said "why is the car outside?"

He said- " I never drove it home did I?"
So he was so drunk that he doesnt remember driving the car back home, on a route in which he has to get across a busy 'A'Road.

I am so fucking angry and amazed at his sheer fuckwittery that I am typing with my teeth clenched.

I want to scream at him but cant as the boys are here.

He did this once recently (although was not as drunk as last night, I was up last time wehn he got in and had a fit at him). I thought he grassped the concept of not only the dangers (ie killing himself or others, maiming himself or others) Even losing his bloody license which he needs to in order to do his job.

He is a fucking clown and I feel like killing him.

OP posts:
Josie3 · 19/10/2008 11:30

I'm assuming he's taking care of the children today while you're at work? Hope they run around like mad things all day!

MurderousMarla · 19/10/2008 11:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squatchette · 19/10/2008 11:50

Maybe you could have a word with the landlord and explain what has happened ,it wouldn't be the first time a landlord has had to take a customers keys.Really though i'd try to prevent him driving to the pub full stop.
And what is it with shit-faced men mistaking the wardrobe for the loo.I know loads that have done it.
Never met a female who has made the same mistake though.

compo · 19/10/2008 12:07

maybe this is how hit and runs happen
I mean if you can't remember driving home and a hit and run happened last night how can you know it's not you if you can't remember

KerryMumchingOnEyeballs · 19/10/2008 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chequersandchess · 19/10/2008 12:13

I don't have the words to describe how angry I'd be if this was my DH.

Sorry for you

Gawain · 19/10/2008 12:17

While you're at it sit him down and make him watch one of the interviews done with the Peaks.

TheProvincialLady · 19/10/2008 12:27

I would not be happy with my DH coming home in this state, let alone the drink driving. He needs to set some boundaries to his drinking.

BodenGroupie · 19/10/2008 16:56

My husband once mistook me for the loo .

Has also done the wardrobe trick.

batters · 19/10/2008 17:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spicemonster · 19/10/2008 17:19

I'm not surprised you feel like that. Both are unacceptable. I'd have a serious talk. I would actually threaten to leave if he drink drives again. I dumped a longterm bf for doing it. It's just vile behaviour. And pissing in the wardrobe? How old is he? 16? FFS

BreevandercampLGJ · 19/10/2008 17:21

You might want to show him this.

imnotmamagbutshelovesme · 19/10/2008 17:36

The wardrobe pissing is the least of your worries.

I am not getting at you, your husband drove home so pissed he doesn't remember doing it. That is beyond scary.

I would make it clear he is an adult but if he ever does it again you will report him to the police. And mean it.

priceyp · 19/10/2008 17:45

We have a rule in this house, if either one of us even intends to have one drink let alone several we do not drive. It's simple and eliminates any doubt or guess work. Absolutely none of mine or my husbands friends would condone this behaviour. Your DH needs to seriously re-think his lifestyle and his "mates".

nooOOOoonki · 19/10/2008 17:57

sorry your husband is a total arsehole,

Drink driving is beyond reprehensible. And I if he is looking after the kids today I find it sad that he got so drunk he doesnt remember coming home. In fact at his age that is pretty sad kids or not.

Olihan · 19/10/2008 18:07

You can report for drink driving yourself, if needs be. I expect his alcohol; levels would be fine now but if he does it again (god forbid), then you can call 999, say he's driven home drunk and they will come and breathalise him at the house.

You then have to go to court as a witness and testify against him - i.e confirm he was driving.

I know because one of our neighbours regularly used to D&D and I discussed our options with the local policeman.

LaVie · 19/10/2008 18:25

Report him. I don't want to be driving on the same road as your fuckwit dh when he's had a skinful.

Please show him this thread.

Then slap him.

compo · 19/10/2008 19:30

tiredemma - are you ok?

SylvieSprings · 19/10/2008 19:31

Tiredemma, have you discussed your husband's drinking habits with him? How often does he go out for a drink?

Have you heard of the CAGE questionaire?

Cutdown - Do you feel ever feel the need to cutdown on your drinking?

Anger - Do you feel or get angry when someone talks about your drinking?

Guilty - Do you feel guilty about drinking or make attempts to lie about it?

Eyeopener - Do you need a drink the first thing you open your eyes?

If the answer is yes to one or more to the above questions, then the person is addicted or cannot control his drinking.

www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/

AA National Helpline: 0845 769 7555

tiredemma · 19/10/2008 21:39

Hi there, sorry have been out all day and only just got online.

we are talking (just)- I am so pissed off with him still for doing something so stupid. He has grovelled etc and admitted his utter fuckwittery and how it is abhorrent behaviour.
I hope he is ashamed of himself.
It wont happen again.

The wardrobe thing was just to paint a picture of how pissed he was, not more important than the driving issue.
I am a slatten and too lazy to hang up my clothes they are all folded in drawers so my clothes are not urine covered, only his own.

Thanks all, he is an utter twat. But im not about to leave him over this episode of idiotic behaviour. He wont have the opportunity to do it again.

OP posts:
SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 19/10/2008 21:46

Can you remember that little boy in the news about a year ago? He lost his mum, dad and siblings after they were killed in a crash caused by a drunk driver. the drunk driver was the boyfriend of a girl who works with my mum.

She was absolutely distraught and felt completely responsible as it was her he had been drinking with her the night before but she had no idea he would drive home. He is in prison now and she has still not forgiven herself.

Ask your DH how he would feel if something similar happened when he was driving drunk.

It would be the lives of two whole families ruined. (your family and obv the family he kills)

I despise drink drivers. They should be locked up and have their liscences suspended permanently.

tiredemma · 19/10/2008 21:49

I absolutely agree with you. No excuse for it. If he can afford to get pissed, he can afford the £3.50 taxi fare home.

I really hope he is feeling like shit. Im sure he is. He is very quiet and creeping.

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