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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Happily married but wanting desperately to have sex with another man

19 replies

Onestonetogo · 17/10/2008 16:29

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OP posts:
OrmIrian · 17/10/2008 16:31

Keep it as fantasies. Harmless as long as you go no further. In fact I'd go as far as to say it can be quite life-enhancing as long as it stays in your head!

I think it's quite normal. Marriage doesn't mean your spouse owns your mind.

cremolafoam · 17/10/2008 16:31

do nothing
you have answered it yourself

ActingNormal · 17/10/2008 17:40

"Happily" married? I used to feel like going elsewhere but when I really looked into it I realised I was NOT happy with my marriage, mainly because I was not happy with MYSELF and all my uneresolved issues. I can see it now that I am feeling much better, and don't have these urges anymore.

SuzJ · 17/10/2008 19:51

I'm happily married....just no sex (his choice) so have been looking elsewhere. A girl has to do what a girl has to do. We'll all be dead soon. If you really are happily married, then just keep it as a fantasy to spice up sex with DH

darkpunk · 17/10/2008 19:54

sorry, can't see how your marriage is happy if you're dreaming about sex with another man.

nickytwoooohtimes · 17/10/2008 19:56

Yep, keep it as a fun fantasy.
it is not worth ruining a good marriage for, is it? Anyway, it would probably be a hideous disappointment.

Onestonetogo · 17/10/2008 22:45

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Onestonetogo · 17/10/2008 23:29

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
ButWhyMum · 17/10/2008 23:36

Nothing wrong with fantasising imho

QuintessentialShadow · 17/10/2008 23:37

Stop going to the message board. It is fuelling it. He is just playing with your emotions.

codtrolfreaky · 17/10/2008 23:40

dont you get any excitment elsewhere in your life? get a hobby.

gypsyme · 17/10/2008 23:41

Re Read your OP 'my marriage is happy and I wouldn't do anything to ruin it" . . . . .

gypsyme · 17/10/2008 23:43

and if you're still searching for clarity try reversing the roles and imagine your husband was posting . . .

QuintessentialShadow · 17/10/2008 23:44

Other man is probably getting some kick out of knowing your dh is reading messages.

solidgoldskullonastick · 17/10/2008 23:52

It's very normal (ie done by lots of people) to fantasize about others when you are in a monogamous relationship. WHat goes on in your own head is your own business. The boundaries of what is and is not acceptable vary from couple to couple but it's important to discuss them with a monogamous partner before doing anything radical.

When fantasies of any kind (such as daydreams of a new job or of being an alien or planning the perfect bank robbery as well as fantasies about sex) become so consuming that you start to neglect everyday life then there may be a problem, otherwise, just relax and enjoy.

ButWhyMum · 17/10/2008 23:56

Solidgold - your opinion/advice is spot on as usual.

Onestonetogo · 18/10/2008 00:37

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mumhadenough · 18/10/2008 00:47

I think the fantasy thing is fine, as long as it goes no further.

Does it really matter where you get your appetite from, as long as you have your dinner at home ?

bcsnowpea · 18/10/2008 20:12

mumhadenough - brilliant line, love it!

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