MIL is either rude or tactless

[ilovetochat]

Today I went to an exercise class and left dd in a creche for an hour, it's the first time i've left her in a creche and she is 15 months and she was fine and was happily playing when i returned and had only cried once when the door opened and she saw it wasn't me.
I just relayed the story to ils who popped round and she jumped on the part about her crying and said poor dd being left and crying as if i was terrible for leaving her. She then kept saying over and over poor dd.
Can't she have a bit of tact and realise it was hard for me to leave her and i need a bit of encouragement that she will be fine. I have given up work, hobbies and social life since dd was born and still bf so i think i have given her everything i can but it seems its never enough.

Totally tactless. You're also teaching her how to be independent and one hour is nothing. Much better (imo) than putting her in a nursery for a half-day / day. She'll just get a different kind of experience from being with different people to that which she'd have with you. And I think that's healthy. I think creche has been a fantastic experience for my 2. (Ds1 is about to turn 5 and too old to go anymore sadly.) It'll prepare her for pre-school , nursery and school and help her make some friends by herself.

thanks for the support, i've been doubting myself as dd has been really tearful the last day or so and crying in her sleep and i'd started to think maybe its cos i left her?

Before I was married or had DD my MIL (who is wonderful and supportive btw) made it clear that she believed that children should have a parent (she probably was thinking mother tbh) at home with them.

Being aware of this as soon as we told them I was pregnant and knew I would be going back to work part time we made it clear we would be sending our DD to nursery.

She hasn't made a single negative comment which I hugely appreciate - it isn't any of her business really but I appreciate her ability to support our decisions even when she doesn't necessarily agree.

It seems that some people become more tolerant and accepting as they grow older and find themselves in new situations, and some just get more intolerant. I'm hoping I end up one of the tolerant ones but I fear it may turn out to be a mixture of the two.