Ok, back now!
My mum has been coming round to it all for a while, but dad wouldn't shift. Mum actually got a bit stressed about it while they were away on holiday with friends, and she talked to her friend. The friend then had a talk with my dad & said he would end up totally losing his daughter if he didn't change his ways. She told me he remained stubborn at the time & she didn't feel she had got very far, but I feel this talk from someone outside the family actually did some good.
Just little things at first, but I noticed I could suddenly mention DP's existence without dad reacting in a negative way, and then he would also mention his name from time to time in conversation. It was a huge breakthrough!
Mum had told him recently that she felt he should soon meet up with us, and she said much as she didn't get much of a response at first, he didn't say no!
Saturday night, I had planned for him to come round to my house & I was going to cook for him, but mum suggested I contact the woman they went on holiday with to see if she could babysit, then she would try to get dad along to meet us for a drink.
I was pretty cautious about the whole thing & text DP to see how he would feel. He thought it was a step in the right direction, and though he was nervous, he seemed happy to for meet up with my parents on Sat.
I then thought dad would totally refuse, but to my shock he said "I might see you on Saturday!"
I really didn't believe it would happen - I felt dad would never come round. Then for my sister & BIL to also want to come along!
When we got in the bar, my parents, sister & BIL were already there. I was scared that dad would be frosty & rude, but he wasn't - he even shock his hand!!
BIL talked skiing with him & dad asked about DP's dad as they were both musicians in the marines. It went as well as it could have, and when DP went to the bar, dad said "he seems a very nice bloke!"
Ex H has still spent the whole weekend with my parents (in the time he had boys), but hopefully dad can see that he can still be friends with ex h if he wants - nothing needs to change, but I hope he can see that I am happy in my new relationship & accept that I have moved on with a decent man!
I feel we have taken a huge huge step in getting dad to actually meet him...it was something I felt would never happen!