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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

dp doesn't 'come on' to me anymore

4 replies

feelingveryunsexy · 07/10/2008 19:12

Our DS is nearly 2.

I can count on 1 hand the number of times we have had sex since then.

I am still bf so think I lost my mojo for a while but in the last few months I have started to get 'feelings' again and get bit frisky sometimes.

And when I tell him I am feeling this way he kind of laughs it off like it is joke. He NEVER comes onto me. I have askd him why and whether he still fancies me and he says 'of course' and when I mention the lack of sex thing he starts to get all stroppy about it.

I mentioned it the other day and he had a go because he was 'putting him under pressure'.

The top and bottom of it is that he is really busy with his business and stressed. DS hasn't been the best sleeper. He is overweight but too busy to do anything about it - I think this makes him feel unsexy.

I love him and in every other way we get on. He is the funniest and nicest person alive. I just have this niggling feeling in my head (that I have chosen to ignore for about a year) that we will never have a good sex life again and it scares me.

I have even started fancying other men.

OP posts:
Original poster
feelingveryunsexy · 07/10/2008 19:14

By my last comment I mean I get the hots for other blokes but I would never go behind DP's back.

OP posts:
Original poster
feelingveryunsexy · 07/10/2008 20:13

Just wanted to add that I know he wanks off to porn and sexy photos of women on his laptop.

So he still has it in him.

Just doesn't want me

OP posts:
AnybodyHomeMcFly · 07/10/2008 20:21

You are by far not the only mum of an almost 2-yr-old who ain't getting much so please don't feel you're alone.

It's such a tiring time - even so long after the birth - that many of us and our DPs are just exhausted. That makes a huge difference.

What happens if you come on to him - literally feel him up in bed rather than just talking about it?

Also it could be that he isn't feeling that great about himself if he's overweight and stressed so it could easily be about how sexy he feels he is (or not) rather than whether he fancies you.

woodenchair · 07/10/2008 20:42

Sorry this is happening, but you are not alone my any means.

I was going to suggest the same as mcfly, have you tried a midnight grope?

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