Don't know what to do

[Kieradoll]

Since I had my DS a year ago my relationship with my DH has not been great. I think we have both found the changes hard - my DH is under a lot of pressure financially and I found the changes hard emotionally.

The problem is that when DH is stressed or angry he can be really nasty to me. He swears at me, calls me fucking useless, says he is out busting his ass for me etc etc. It's pretty horrible and nothing I seem to say or do makes a difference. I don't want my DS growing up thinking that it is ok to talk to people like that. I love my DH and I hate the stress we are both under just now but I want us to deal with it together not for him to treat me this way.

I think he resents me being at home and is angry because despite searching for part time work I have yet to get a job. Still looking.

I have tried talking to him when he's in a good mood - saying that we mustn't take our stress out on each other but obviously it isn't working.

I feel pretty scared and don't know what to do for the best.

sounds awful.

do you really want to be with this man?

ds will learn how to behave towadrs women by watching the way his daddy is with you

That is my fear. Thing is when all is well then it's great and I really do love him and I am sure that he loves me. He certainly adores our son. I can' t imagine not being with him but at the same time how much of this do I put up with? I know things are bad for us right now but I don't think his behaviour towards me is ok no matter how stressed/angry he is.

dont put up with it! What does he want? for you to go out to work? You need to communicate and put your cards on the table, work out a solution to the problem between you...surely thats what a partnership is? If he is going to bully you like this, and out you down like this you will have no self esteem and feel worthless. Do something about it now before it becomes out of control. Maybe do something for yourself that your husband can see that you are making an effort to contribute. Its hard being parents, and life is hard paying for everything, but communicating and working together to resolve issues is the only way forward. good luck

I have asked him loads if he wants me to go back full time to work but we agreed that we wanted me to bring up DS. I am looking for part time work at the moment, finding it hard. I have three job applications I am waiting to hear back from just now and I told DH that if nothing comes from any of them then I will go down the job centre and just take anything I can get. Not being able to get a job as quickly as I had hoped has already made me feel like crap without him adding to it.

I feel like we are both trapped in this horrible situation in relation to work and money and neither of us are happy right now. I am not perfect. I am not a natural house wife. I do all the cooking and cleaning but I am not a brilliant cook although I do my best. I have also been having some emotional problems which seems to be annoying DH no end and which he uses against me when he is angry. I am working on those though.

The stress is probably making him act like this, and he needs to find a way to get rid of it.

What i would say to you is to do what you want wrt to getting a job - dont be bullied into getting one but also dont 'give up' work to please him - you may regret it one day.

You do need to be a partnership to work.

He said sorry today. I hope we can chat properly tonight.