my brother in law wants me to lie to his potential employers

[ilovemydog]

My brother in law, who I only hear from when he wants something, regularly uses me as a personal reference. He never asks in advance, and usually I am happy enough to help out.

But he put my name down as a personal reference and said to tell his potential employers that he had known me for 15 years. I've only known DP, his brother for 10, so it's a lie.

Also, it seems that he has put me down as a professional reference as I got a letter asking to confirm dates of employment.

Obviously I don't want to lie, but if he doesn't get the job, I will be the 'bad guy.'

Help!

you could always just not do anything (put the reference in a drawer somewhere and forget it?

i dont know but probably he could start working before you send it back you tick it off nd thats it he wqorks and thats the end of it

if he is a bormal bloke i wouds just tick it off

he benefuits

and so does the company

can i ask why you wont lie for him - its family after all

my children have all had references from my business
and dd2 went fdrom pub to cleaner to finance

she couldnt have done it otherwise

Can I ask why the truth dos not suffice?

Don't lie, its and official document and if his employers find out you lied you could be sued. Any reason he think he wouldn't be considered for the job if he had genuine references.

I think I would draft a personal reference, who you are, your relationship to BIL, how long you've known him, person of good character etc. Show BIL and tell him thats all you're prepared to provide to any prospective employer. If he feels thats not enough then he should look for a personal ref elsewhere

TBH I think he's behaving totally inappropriately and far from it being your DHs responsibilty to reign him in (especially as you already know he's not happy with you doing this) its your issue and you should draw the line