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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

No sex drive!

11 replies

silverwater · 03/10/2008 00:33

I care for my partner very much but right now have absolutely no interest in anything sexual at all anyone else have similar experience?

OP posts:
RiallyEeRiaee · 03/10/2008 15:16

perfectly normal IMO, I just want to sleep

grouchyoscar · 03/10/2008 15:20

My Libido has got up and gone too! I also love DH but after 17 years I don't want to bang the ass off him anymore, just cuddle and sleep

JuneBugJen · 03/10/2008 15:22

Ditto

ToughDaddy · 04/10/2008 07:30

Recommend intense exercise if possible. Will help with deep sleep and feel good as well.

lovecat · 04/10/2008 09:51

Mine went completely for a long while, and I was very upset about it as I've always been quite highly-sexed (sorry if tmi).

Am mildly embarrassed to admit this, but.....

a good long hard wank, even though I wasn't really in the mood (I believe someone in a book somewhere called it a 'bully wank'), several of them on separate nights kind of got things flowing a little bit, then after a month or so it just kind of clicked back into place. Now I'm as horny as I ever was (poor DH).

I had to really make myself make the effort, iyswim, I wouldn't have done had I not been distressed at what was (to me) an important part of my life just vanishing into thin air. I had zero sexual feelings, no desire for anything but sleep and it alarmed me.

hth

IAteDavinaForDinner · 04/10/2008 09:58

Try banning sex.

Reverse psychology often works.

pamelat · 04/10/2008 10:17

Go out together, notice if/how other women do sneak glances at your parter.

Do things together that you used to enjoy. Watch him do something (non sexual) that he is in to, sport or similar.

I find that it reminds me that he isn't "just" my DH.

ToughDaddy · 04/10/2008 13:51

Stress doesn't help

Kally · 05/10/2008 15:04

*lovecat' very bold and honest of you and I agree and think it also gets things 'flowing'. It's all to do with 'hormones' and I reckon that every now and then things get dormant and need waking up at our own pace. Good honest remedy!

MorrisZapp · 05/10/2008 15:21

I read (and believe) that there is no such thing as sex drive or libido.

Sex is only spontaneous and natural when you feel really turned on by the other person, and for most of us this is in the initial stages of a relationship.

In later stages, you have to either live with less sex, or approach it positively and 'make it happen', ie with all the old chestnuts: bottle of wine, sexy undies, erotic video, etc etc.

It's like the Nike ad - just do it.

morningpaper · 05/10/2008 15:29

Of course is there is some thing as a sex drive, it's the issues that most relationships fall apart over fgs

yes regular wanking can help

Are you on the contraceptive pill or anti-depressants? These can suppress sex drive

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