My mum is 51 marrying a 28 year old??

[cantpickyourfamily]

My mums partner recently told her he wanted to have kids so could no longer be with her, then after being upset for a week he has asked her to marry him.

I think it is a stupid idea and I feel they are not on the same wavelength at all.

My dd is 14months and I took her to my mums one day last week at 10am and her partner was already smoking a spliff. My mum was meant to look after dd that day as I had to work so I had to leave her there feeling really annoyed about it all day.

This has happened before and when I speak to my mum she says he will not smoke it infrount of dd. But he has smoked it in the car before collecting dd from my house. I do not smoke it atall, and I would never expose dd to the smell of it.

When I bring it up infrount of my mums partner she tries to brush it under the carpet.

She just told me she is getting married so I told her if she wants to see dd she can come to my house but dd will not be in her house again.

She acts like a child and has always put men before her children...

Also my brother has got alot of issues because he does not talk to my mum and I had him living wih me for a while as I was trying to look after him, which I feel is her job as she chose to give birth to my brother and should be responsible for him untill he is an adult...

and i think you are right she does have very skewed priorities

indeed

i can understand how much anger you feel tbh

Well, firstly I am amazed to finally find someone with a family more dysfunctional than mine but secondly it does sound very complex and your mum doesnt sound like a very nice person, hope this doesnt offend you. The sad thing is, it doesn't sound like you can do much about it as it appears thatt her priority is her lovers not her children and I can't see how you could make her see differently. I am saddened about the fact that she put her 5 year old up for adoption because her new partner didn't like him

she said my dad didn't like him, which I do not know if that is true or not, but even if it is she should of got rid of my dad not him.

also I do not feel she should marry her partner because he does not know about this son who she gave away or does not know that the house she lives in is a council house and she does not own it as she told him she does.

I told her that maybe he should know this and then she can wait to see if he sticks around when she does and she said that is not an issue as she told him if she dies the house would go to me...

I feel she is trying to keep him there by impressing him that she owns an expensive house and has money etc.

A few times she has been low on money and asked me to borrow her some (knowing full well I am a single parent and often struggle). And I have said I cannot afford to and why doesn't she ask her partner? And she says oh I don't like to ask him. But if you live with someone I feel they should help you out if you are low on money...

I just dont see this as the type of relationship where marriage is going to work.

And also feel that when my little brother and older sister hear they are really going to be upset and start asking me questions etc as I am the only one who speaks to my mum...

well you are right she is in cloud cuckoo land

very sad for her children

jojosmaman - you have not even heard the half of my family problems, I never tell anyone any of this. The only person I have spoke to about it is ex P. but now we are not together need to get it off my chest as cannot speak to my brother and sister as they do not speak to my mum atall...

I am not offended that you said my mum is not a nice person as it is very true. It has just taken me much longer to realise this then my brother and sister.

Yes and the person who suffered most is my brother.

He now lives in alone and has alot of issues, I tried my best to help him but he was hard to live with and very selfish. And caused me alot of stress so I had to ask him to leave as my dd comes first, and I need to be in the right frame of mind to look after her.

He said that my mum bought him weed on the weekends so she could go out and drink. I did not belive this but I'm afraid it is probably true as I did see that she bought him large pizzas even tho he was really over weight...

I always argued with her for giving him junk food and not helping him to loose weight...