Am I being unreasonable - 4,546,756,543

[Demented]

Never thought I would be starting an "Am I being unreasonable" thread but here goes. Just let me rant!

Tonight my DH was getting ready to go out to the gym, I was playing piano and the kids were playing in their rooms. DH comes down the stairs "Are you not going to get dinner on for the kids", me "yeah, in a minute" (as if they would let me forget to feed them. Next comment "What's happened with the washing, the dirty washing is all over the floor up there and it's been like that for weeks" (me thinks his favourite posing clothes for the gym are in the wash and that is the problem) to which I blew up (overreaction totally) and proceeded to rant about how I hold told him a couple of weeks ago that I was behind with the washing and I just couldn't get a handle on it etc and that after almost 10 years of marriage and clean, socks, knickers, ironed shirts etc all magically finding their way into the wardrobe and never as much as a comment why suddenly start talking about it now that I have fallen behind. He said "I was only just saying, there is loads of washing and the washing lines outside are empty and the drying racks inside are virtually empty, I wondered what was happening" cue another tantrum "we've had builders here all winter so I've had no outside drying lines, the minute you put them back up it snows!" (I of course had washing out the day it snowed). He said I was overreacting and how would it be if I asked about the state of our finances (his dept) and he blew up at me like that to which I said I would have listened to him a couple of weeks before telling me about the problem and would have been understanding and possibly helpful.

Now he has gone out and I've made my way round the house, he has finished all the milk and no doubt has no intention of buying any more, finished the bread without taking a new loaf out the freezer, left the bathroom soaking wet (wetroom) despite me having asked him the other week if the bathroom is really bad could he dry up the floor with a towel (from the washing basket) and he has been all over the house in shoes that have had muck stuck in the tread, he has also walked through the wet in the bathroom creating a lovely muddy mess in a couple of places.

I have an ear infection (not to painful thankfully), DS2 hasn't been well, I have also been ironing today and taken DS1 to his swimming lesson.

My excuse is that a) I hate it and b) I'm a lazy arse and c) it's dp's job TOO NOT JUST MINE and d) I'm a lazy arse.

And my crappy machine takes TWO AND A HALF HOURS! Which is not conducive to clearing a backlog

wash every day ?!!! not me!

Luckily ds got loads of clothes for christmas, dd is strechy girl and can still wear 18m size clothes (she's nearly 3 - has grown up and not out so trousers are a bit short but dresses are fine). I wear all kinds of moth-eaten items I find in the back of my wardrobe. Does that explain it?

Demented, every time you do something, mention it.

"Look, I've wiped the work surfaces!"

"Look, I've unloaded the dishwasher!"

"Look, I've swept the floor!" etc.

He'll be confused for a while and wonder why you're making such a big deal!

also same answers as www's

wow! I currently have 4 pairs of socks (white) 2 tshirts (also white) 3 pairs of knickers (white) and a pair of jogging trousers and another tshirt (coloureds) in my wash basket.

See 'Do you have a cleaning lady' thread.

If I could afford it, I'd MOST deffo have one!

.

Message withdrawn

LOL @ Sobernow - that is SOOOO true!

I am particularly sensitive about housework as i used to be the untidiest person in the world. I was doing quite well untill i discoverd MN

I feel I do an inordinate amount of washing and still never see the bottom of the basket. I will put on another load before I go to bed so that's three loads today, three over the weekend, I will get another couple on tomorrow (if the weather is not good I can only wash what I can fit on the drying racks, I don't have a tumble dryer).

expatinscotland your comments about getting a cleaner made me chuckle, we have had it up to our eyeballs with cleaners and got rid of our latest cleaner last week, lucky old me has picked up the job.

Demented - no you are not being unreasonable. if you are normally on top of eevrything he probably doesn't recognise the effort you put into keeping things sorted, so thinks it just kind of happens by itself. a stern talking to about what you do actually have to do each day is in order methinks.

For the washing - I rally can't undersatnd how people have to do so much. we all wera clean clothes every day (well I will wear jeans a few times if 'm just slobbing at home) and I do no more than 4-5 loads a week. My top tip is to have 3 dirty washing baskets - one for lights, one for darks and one for whites. Then as soon as one looks full enough for awash, do it. I tend to put a load on in the evening with a time delay so it is ready for me to hang/tumble dry first thing in the am. It means that you don't have to sort through dirty washing and put some back into the basket, and you get to have at least one empty basket after a wash. Of course you do have to train dh to put his dirty clothes in the right baskets. I te

No you are not being unreasonable. Would have been p ed off about the kids dinner bit - treating you like you are a bit thick IMO - how often do you forget to feed them? Agree with sobernow that our arguments about housework often come out of something else eg work stress. But ours are generally about levels of tidiness. Also its not that suprising if your washing has mounted up a bit if you haven't got a dryer.

Thanks Prufrock, the three baskets would be great but I just don't know where I would put them, at the moment the washing is in our bedroom (and I do agree with him it's not nice spilling all over the bedroom floor), it's not ideal but the only place for it just now, I dream of a utility room.

I really don't know where all our washing comes from. We all have clean underwear (I will wear a bra a few days) everyday, DS1 wears his School uniform for two, sometimes three days, DS2 has clean clothes every day (as he is messy), DH and I will wear trousers for a few days in a row, always clean shirts/t-shirts. Our bed stripped once a week, kids less. The problems probably come in with the washable nappies (wouldn't change them), gym clothes, DH's clothes for DIY (which are always filthy after one wear). Even with that I still don't know why we have so much washing. To keep on top of it I definately have to be doing three loads a day Mon-Fri and a little less at the weekend.

He came back from the gym in a better mood and I did make a few sarcastic jokes about the washing etc so felt a bit better to, we had a laugh about it.