I think I've got seven year itch - a great marriage with a man I love who loves me, but an odd feeling of things not quite 'clicking' like they used to.
The sum total of my problem is that over the last year I've kept coming back to an aching feeling that dh doesn't have the same twinkle in his eye for me like he used to. I pick that up from less frequent sexual interactions, sporadic spikes in sarcasm and frustration, and occasional subtext that he has fantasies of just walking out of the door and not coming back.
I variously ascribe it to work pressure, or having a young family, or me and dh aging on different ways, bereavement, him having a reduced sex drive or sex drive redirected away from me or just 'growing apart' .
We've talked and talked. Dh was really deeply distressed that he'd made me feel in this way. He blamed work pressures - and also noted that we are very good at spending nice time together as a family and as a couple. I don't really want to keep bringing up vague dissatisfaction with him; I don't want to make this thing too big.
The thing that worries me is my own reaction. I'm afraid that by latching on to this idea that dh loves me less, I'll start to emotionally distance myself as protection.
I'm doing things like buying new clothes and glamming up in response to perceived rejection. It feels like an ugly game to play - almost like trying to generate love out of jealousy.
I've a job change coming up, and I find myself making big plans, that would involve long hours, high rewards, new people. I wonder if I'm trying to make my professional life bigger to make it less obvious that my personal life feels smaller. And is that bad? Or is that how mature relationships function? It's pretty much how my parents marriage seems to work.
It makes me feel like a fifties cliche - and I'm scared that it could seep poison into a good relationship. How to fix it? I love him very, very deeply - and I miss him very much.