A few weeks ago I posted about my DP McD. I finished with him, very sadly but saw the relationship as logistically impossible. Met Mr.B. We went out for a meal etc and he was very sweet, but there was no big old click going on. We got on well as friends for sure. He lives a lot nearer and we went to his house and he helped me take my pictures to an exhibit etc and was very supportive,calls for chats every day etc.
On hearing that I decided to stop the relationship with McD, he came down to me immediately, took a day off work and when he arrived he was very distressed and sat with me explaining that his house was his marital home and (he has no family here) his EW family help him out a lot with his DS, allowing him to function workwise. They pick him up from school and babysit when he works, they come and go at his house as if its theirs. He needs their support. She left him and I can only assume that his culture would see this as unfair and therefore stepped in to help him out and have remained close to him. When he was working in IT he could afford au pairs etc. Now he can't. He said it would be very uncomfortable for him to have another lady suddenly appearing for 'sleepovers'etc. I feel he is unindated with them. He said he couldn't say this to me for fear of offending me. I said I respected this and could understand (as have been in a similar situation myself). It is not good to be needy but sometimes unavoidable.
I left it at that. We were both upset and he stayed a few hours begging me to reconsider and tht he will make changes for us to be together. To be patient and give him chance to detach himself and come to be with me. That is his main goal right now, once his son is with his Mum (McD says they have agreed to this). He says he does not want to burden me with all of this as it is stuff he has to deal with but begged me to be reconsider 'as we have come this far and are inlove and not to give up just yet'.
Meanwhile MrB has been a good friend altho I have mentioned McD in a round about way, that I have a friend from town X and he comes to stay sometimes with his DS... I didn't go into detail as this is a new friendship. McD knows that MrB helped me during exibition and is a friend. He didn't comment negatively as he knows I have male friends.
I couldn't do anything intimate with MrB but he is lonely and enjoys my company, I cook him supper and enjoys the company. I have never even kissed MrB. We're just friends.
I know MrB would like it to move up a level but I feel I am being very calculative by keeping his good company while McD sorts himself out to pave a path to me.
I feel scared and I am not a people user but feel I have gone and got things complicated. What is the best thing to do?