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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My boss is going through some sort of crisis in his marriage - I want to help on practical basis, but don't want to interfere

7 replies

sameagain · 24/09/2008 13:10

He is clearly not himself and we are all treading on eggshells, the only thing I know officially, is that his boss, has told us he has problems at home, but that we should all carry on as normal.

My boss is pretty temperamental at the best of times and work is not a good place to be right now.

I have been working below my potential for a number of years, which suited me while my children were small, but I now feel the need to be challenged again. Before my Dc's I was doing much the same job as my boss does now. So, I was think of saying, look I know you've got a lot on at the moment, let me take some of the pressure off at work and do some of your meetings etc. Good idea, or very bad?

OP posts:
PoorOldEnid · 24/09/2008 13:11

bad

stay out of it

he'll end up dumping on you and you won't get paid

look for another job

RubySlippers · 24/09/2008 13:11

yes, you could offer

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 24/09/2008 13:12

Bad

Stay out of his personal life.

Do your job.

If he isn't up to it and you are, it will be noticed.

funnypeculiar · 24/09/2008 13:14

What sort of organisation/relationship is there? I would offer in a small company/if I knew the boss well
But you might want to think about what will happen when he's back on his feet & you're 'demoted'...

MamaG · 24/09/2008 13:14

agree with enid and notmamag

sameagain · 24/09/2008 14:03

I have no intention of getting involved in his personal life. My main motivation is to do something to help with his workload while his mind is elsewhere, to make the atmosphere in the office a bit better, to get me some recent experience for if/when I want to apply for a step up and to make my day a bit more interesting. (yes I appreciate not nec in that order)

I know he will probably dump on me and I won't get paid for the more senior work I do and that things will get back to normal eventually, but that OK as far as I'm concerned. I'll be in a better position to apply for something else if I want to. It's also a way to find out if I can still do it without really having the responsibility IYSWIM.

It's a large organisation, but a small autonomous team of 4.

OP posts:
tablefor3 · 24/09/2008 14:28

Don't bring in his personal life. Raise it as a proper appraisal/scheduled meeting where you wish to address your career, with a written agenda or agreed points to discuss.

Namely - you used to work at a higher level before your children and now that they are older you are ready to step up to that challenge again. Ask him what the options are for you to seek more responsibility/change of role etc. Address purely in terms of what you want from your work.

If appropriate and if it happens in your firm, maybe invite your boss's boss too, especially in any event your boss might have to seek his approval for such a move.

Good luck

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