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Original poster

if your mil said this would you be upset????

26 replies

blushingm · 23/09/2008 15:58

She#d had a few glasses of wine and is well known for saying stuff and it coming out with very little tact and though.......

Anyway - we were chatting about weight and stuff (i'm trying so hard to lose a lot and she knows it) and she started saying sometime what you wear can make you look bigger ie short tops and low jeans (I didn't think I wore things like this) aqnd then stood up and pulled her elasticated waist jeans down to her hips and pulled her top up over her belly button - just to demonstrate

I just politely nodded at the time but as i think about it it really hurts my feelings...I've told DH and he says he didn't hear her but will have a word...along blushingm asked me not say anything but you really upset her the other day.......WWYD? Am i being over senistive or is she being nasty???

OP posts:
captainmummy · 23/09/2008 15:59

Sounds revolting.

Elasticated jeans???

barf.

Bet you are much better looking.

FabioVicePeeperPlopper · 23/09/2008 16:00

I would be more horrified at MIL getting her guts out tbh.

fryalot · 23/09/2008 16:00

was she talking about you?

Or was she talking generally - the look she described is very unflattering yet lots of people go round with their tops ridden up and their hipster jeans on, with anything less than a perfectly flat belly it does make you look fat.

Unless you regularly wear this style, I would assume that she was talking generally about other people and probably trying to flatter you if anything

PinkChick · 23/09/2008 16:01

id have prodded her in her gut and went ooh look at all your flabby old rolls..ignore her she sounds gobby and jealous!

Jennyusedtobepink · 23/09/2008 16:02

I would be upset. Dh's grandfather upset me in this manner once, shall I share?

Oh, OK then. My mum is very petite, and much smaller than me. The first time she met dh's grandfather he remarked to me (in front of everyone), 'Oh, you're not as slim as your mum, are you?'

I was very upset. And to this day, cannot abide the man. And this was about 7 years ago.

BitOfFun · 23/09/2008 16:03

What squonk said x

AMumInScotland · 23/09/2008 16:04

I agree with Squonk - I think she was just trying to make a general point, rather than getting at you personally.

Upwind · 23/09/2008 16:08

I think you are being over sensitive

Why not buy a couple of belly bands to stop your midriff being revealed? If you know it never is, she can't have been talking about you, but generally. And no, it is not a good look.

theNaughtiestGirlKeepsaSecret · 23/09/2008 16:11

Look her up and down, let your eyes rest on her worst features and then say icily but with a fake smile "our tastes our very different".

An old boyfriend years ago, his mum asked me if I felt like "a bit of an also ran" next to her [precious} David. I was so shocked ot be asked such a ludicrous question. I was about to dump him for being so boring. I wish I'd laughed in her face.

Lizzylou · 23/09/2008 16:12

Agree with Squonk
My MIL is notoriously lacking in tact. Once I went to see her, all dresed up to go out. I had a totally new outfit on, make up (for a change) and had just had a new haircut. She said
"OOh, that must be hurt, it looks really sore" about the remnants of a coldsore (a tiny scab) that I had previously thought was practically invisible. So I spent all night with one hand over my lip.
SIL is just as bad, the Queen of bitchy backhanded compliments.

Ignore!

DesperateHousewifeToo · 23/09/2008 16:17

My mil left some meal replacement shakes here once.

When I told her I would bring them next time I saw her, she told me she had left them on purpose as she thought I might like to try them

Think your mil may have been talking generally but who knows with mils!

Original poster
blushingm · 23/09/2008 16:23

thanks all - she also got her diet magzine out to show me too..........mmmmm elasticated jeans

would any of you say anything to her or just let it slide? I almost popped in earlier but they were (mil and fil) on their way out to m & s - possible to look for an elasticated waist skirt

OP posts:
jesuswhatnext · 23/09/2008 16:41

NEVER take style or diet tips from a woman in elasticated jeans - whoever they may happen to be

Original poster
blushingm · 23/09/2008 16:44

you know she even said 'i'm big but not as big as you' FFS - she's a size 18 and I'm a 20 plus i'm taller than her too!!!

OP posts:
TheCrackFox · 23/09/2008 16:51

Blush - your MIL sounds like a right cow. Elasticated jeans, FFS.

jesuswhatnext · 23/09/2008 16:54

tell her you can diet, but she will always be ugly

cat64 · 23/09/2008 16:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BibiThree · 23/09/2008 17:00

My MIL is exactly the same! Absolutely no tact or social graces sometimes. Like when I order a dessert after a family meal out, she'll say (loudly of course) "Oh, I thought you were slimming...?"

I used to get all embarassed and try and explain myself - now I brazen it out and go "No! Me? Diet? As if! I LURVE cake!" etc etc. Then she looks like the fool she is for trying to embarass me on purpose.

YANBU at all. No one should be "advised" like that on what they wear unless they've asked for it Gok style.

theNaughtiestGirlKeepsaSecret · 23/09/2008 17:04

Say breezily "I may not be size 10, but I'm definitely not old enough". (miao)

Original poster
blushingm · 23/09/2008 20:35

oh i love all these replies - i will be armed next time!!!!!

OP posts:
Ronaldinhio · 23/09/2008 20:41

I'd suggest that you say you'd love to lose weight but her son likes a bit of meat on you for when he trys his more adventurous sexual moves as he just loves to see you jiggle.....

skidoodle · 23/09/2008 20:57

tell her you'll lose the weight but she'll never be able to take off those elasticated waist jeans...

oh hang on...

I'm not surprised you don't know how to react, the whole scene sounds so utterly bizarre, like something out of a sitcom with a really inappropriate and crazy MIL.

I don't think you should get your DH to say anything. Instead I think you should start collecting these kinds of anecdotes and then write a hit comedy series based really obviously on her. THEN she'll be sorry. And you'll be rich and famous and celebrated around the world.

pulled her elascticated jeans down to her hips PMSL

quinne · 24/09/2008 08:00

I think I would say to her when she did this "Don't be so hard on yourself: You hardly ever dress like that and everyone's clothes ride up sometimes. If you are worried about it though, then just wear longer tops!"

quinne · 24/09/2008 08:02

But I wouldn't be upset because she is the one with the manners problem not you.

PortAndLemon · 24/09/2008 09:51

I wouldn't say anything and would just put it down to tactlessness. And she's right on the general point -- it's hard to find anything other than low-waisted jeans these days, and as a person with a long body (the polite way of saying "stumpy little legs") for my height I don't find most tops long enough, so I end up involuntarily displaying midriff quite often and it is not a good look.