mil dilemma!! am I being unreasonable??

[Joso]

Ok, would really appreciate some thoughts on this one please. My mil lives just twenty minutes away, hence she sees our nine month dd all the time. My own mother lives three hours away and so inevitably she sees far less of her.
Now this is the situation:- my mum is coming to stay for one day so that she gets to see our dd before she goes on holiday. This day happens to be the one that my mil usually looks after my dd. When I told my mil that my mum was going to be coming that day, my mil said that she'd come round to see us anyway.
I have two issues here:-

1. From my own selfish point of view I'd like to spend time with my mum on my own. 2)From my mum's point of view I think it'd be nice if she had a chance to spend a whole day with my dd without having to 'share' her, given that she sees so little of her. Am I being unreasonable? If I'm not being unreasonable how could I possibly put this across to my mil without sounding like a rude stroppy cow!! Any advice would be gratefully received!!

No, you are not being unreasonable. Can she have your dd on another day? Then she gets to spend time with your dd as usual, and you get your day too. I'm sure if you discuss it with her, she will see your point of view

No I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. If I was in your position I would just tell MIL that your mum and you were going to spend the day together as she's off on her hols.
Maybe as a compromise you could invite MIL over for coffee before you and your mum go out that way she'll not out stay her welcome but then she may suggest coming with you so maybe that's not such a good idea.
I'd just tell her you want to spend time with mum, I'm sure she'll understand and I don't think it would make you sound stroppy.
Good luck

Ooooh so quick!! Thank you ladies!! Although have just realised that I guess there's more to this situation. Basically when my mum leaves the following morning, coicidentally I too am going away for five days to stay with a friend. So maybe my mil is thinking she too has a right to spend time with her granddaughter before she goes away for five days. Oh no this is starting to sound really complicated!! Please help anyway. (if you have time!!)

Suggest to MIL she comes another day so that DD doesn't get all the attention on one day from both grangma's
That has got to work.... my mum and MIL would love a whole day alone with the grandchildren so even if I say so myself that's quite a good idea I had there..........oohhh aren't I modest!

Thanks Emma, appreciate your suggestion!! Am gonna have to think about all these things and the best way to handle this situation.

Joso, could you invite MIL round for tea with you all after you've had most of the day with your mum?

Could you say your mum is taking you all out for the day, so really sorry, but we won't be in, shame.
HTH
I don't think you are being unreasonable at all, you need some time with your mum.