In-laws criticise me (but not to my face) and I'm worried about my SIL who admits she is agrophobic.

[LOVEMYMUM]

My SIL (married to DH's brother) has 4 children under 12 and she says she is agrophobic - how can i help her?

My in-laws say one thing to my face but another behind my back.

My BIL wants to have a BBQ 2morrow night at 6 pm and I don't want to go cos it's more work for my SIL. I think he and his wife should take the children out to the park after school.

I don't feel able to bottle this up anymore and i feel i'm going to explode when i'm with them all.

But if your sil has agrophobia then she can not take the kids out after school.
Even if you don't go will bil still have the bbq?
Ignore your in laws, let it float on by, you only have to worry about the people who live in your house.
Do you visit your sil often, maybe she needs someone to talk to, esp if your in laws are not very nice

Your're right - she does collect the children from school. Am not sure what she means by agrophobia. Maybe i need to talk to her about it more.
Thing is, my in-laws do affect me cos they are so close to DH - they all speak a language i don't (it'll take a few years to be fluent).
BIL will still have BBQ - it's simply got to a stage now where they say one thing to my face and another behind my back (so i've been told - and i believe the person) and i consider that to be dishonest. SIL is worn down and has big black shadows and no-one sees her distress - as they do not see mine.

hey LMM. you sound low? them pesky inlaws of yours . i think a lot of it is the exlusion thing and fear that dh is not always on your side. but i bet you he is and he cares v deeply but he's also trying to be a good son. does your SIL speak the language too? is she local cause maybe you two need to hook up without the rest of the family and have some time together. could that happen? you have had a tough few months but things go in cycles and before you know it hard times will be in the past. x

Hi Tyaca - the meet-up lunch seems a long time ago.

Am feeling better now. I don't think SIL is agrophobic - i think she was being sarcastic about being stuck in the house cos i saw her out and about shopping by bus.