dh is skating on very think ice right now! let me vent on here before i lose it and hurt him

[SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore]

he came home from the pub and asked if i had put the washing in yet. no i forgot i say, "so just havent bothered doing anything then?" as he tucks into the sunday roast i have just made him and walked to tesco to buy. and lugged home all my own inc his lager.

he then has a go at me for piling the dirty pans in the sink.

then he asks dd to go and get her pj's on. she says she doesnt know where they are "oh well you will have to wait and your mum will get you ready"

and now he is sat saying to dd2 "oh is that not nice enough, its too difficult isnt it? you cant even eat it can you?"

at the same time as winding up dd1 telling her to turn pop girl off or he is going back to the pub! i have advised her to leave it on.

is it really evil to leave some one who is facing losing a close family member for the second time?

because i am not strong enough to cope with this. i have spent all weekend crying and i cant work out what i have done to deserve it. .

he is only behaving this way because of his nephew but im not string enough to cope with this anymore and its only been a few weeks. he wasnt as bad as this last time nephew was ill but the prognosis wasnt as bad last time

Message withdrawn

How about writing him a letter and taking yourself off for a few days?

i cant goodnight. firstly i cannot afford it and secondly he has no holidays so there would be no one to look after the dds and i cant take dd1 out of school.

i do need a break from him though i know i do. i just cant work out where i could go.

I presume the day time isn't an issue in that he's at work this week? Could you do your usual in the day thing and then the minute he gets home, hand over to him as babysitter while you go out - for a walk / cinema / to a friends house etc? I had to do this once - I emailed him in the morning to tell him what was going to happen and that I didn't want to see him for 3 evenings as I'd had enough of his behaviour and a few other things to make my position very clear. He came back that first evening and talked and listened properly.

My dp has been a twat this weekend but yours takes the biscuit.

perhaps it was twatty dh weekend??

mine has been an absolute twunt and yes i have sat here crying

Pehaps

well its all came to head this morning. his lack of caring for anyone other than himself has kept me awake all night meaning that i have slept in.

he has made himself late for work to help get the dds ready so that dd1 is not late for school.

i have told him that if his behavior is going to affect the dds i want to him leave. apparnetly he has done nothing wrong to me he has just been feeling ill all weekend. that would explain why he was at the pub all afternoon instead of here with his family then eh? he must have been to ill to stay home

Seashells, is this behaviour really all because he is upset about his nephew, or is he just a bit of twunt anyway?

Because he just sounds like he is being a selfish twunt, and if he was that upset he wouldn't be disappearing down the pub, he would presumably be round at his brother/sister's spending time with his nephew, or offering support or assistance to them?

well on normal times he is not the best of support to me but he is no where near this bad and he does put in the effort when the fancy takes him.

he tends to deal with things by clamming up and drinking a lot.

i think he would like to see nephew more often but he doesnt know how bad his illness is yet as sil doesnt want him to give up hope. so things need to stay as normal as possible for him. dh hanging around constantly would sort of imply that there was something wrong. given that are not an especially close family and tend to only see each other for family events.

So, really, based on what you have said (and previous posts of yours I have read about him) he is just a bit of a twunt and using his nephew's illness as an excuse to treat you badly.