Anyone left a wealthy man for a poor one and not regretted it?

[definitelynamechanging]

Am thinking of breaking up the happy home - have spent years thinking I wouldn't do it because don't want to destroy dh and dcs, but I don't think I can go on being with someone I don't love. Have met someone wonderful, but it would mean a HUGE change in lifestyle, which would be fine if it was just me, but I'm worried about how everyone else will cope and whether they will hate me for it and whether their material happiness is worth more than my emotional happiness. Any thoughts?

It wouldn't be an option to stay with their dad due to his working hours and travelling abroad, otherwise that would be fine with me.

So you would quite happily walk away from your children to pursue this new relationship

After reading this it sounds as if you are rather looking after yourself at the expense of everyone else in your family unit. I can understand to some extent falling out of love with your DH and moving on, but being prepared to leave your children too

Unlike Anna I rather work from the maxim in my life that happy children are far likely to lead to happy children, rather than happy parents leading to happy children. I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself, quite frankly. A long hard look!

I thik the wealthy and poor aspects are irrelevant .

'DCs are 9 and 11. It wouldn't be an option to stay with their dad due to his working hours and travelling abroad, otherwise that would be fine with me. I know it will be a shock to them, that's what's stopped me from doing anything for many years, but I didn't have any reason to rock the boat before now and I've reached a point where I think I'll burst if I don't leave. I hope that Podrick is right about the dcs being happy if their mum is. '

At that age? Whom are you kidding? 'Oh, yes, Mum just foisted this new partner on us and told us all her happiness was our happiness.'

About the only people more selfish than you in this equation are your kids, and they've got the excuse of being 9 and 11.

Hell, DH and I got into a minor row this morning over his not closing hte front door all the way so his cigarette smoke wafted into the house, and he went off to the other side of hte house to check the gutters, and DD1 (5) started sobbing her heart out thinking he'd gone away.

And you think your kids are going to just go along with this?

GET REAL!

'Duty is the rent you pay on life.'

If the shoe were on the other foot, and your spouse came home and said he was leaving you for someone else because he wasn't in love with you, would you be so blase about it?

Does your spouse even know how you feel?

Because he has a right to know before you jettison him and wreck the family the two of you put together of your own accord.

Leave your current by all means.

Reading between the lines it seems to me you are already in a relationship with the other man. This is a situation that is going to cause the hurt and resentment with your children. They love your H, most likely, and will not like you moving in with another person irrespective of their financial position.

If you are not happy have the balls to move on without the emotional crutch of another man. Otherwise it will cause pain, heartache and resentment for all concerned.

Have a question...i am not married but am seeing someone...he is rich he provides almost everything for me can just say iam his priority...but i don't like his behaviour the people he associates with...and i have been with him for 5 years now but i still don't have geelings for him and i don't enjoy having sex with him...but my worry is if i let go of him am i going to find someone else who is going to treat me like him? And if i decide to marry him am i going to start loving him..am in a dilemma ...what can you people say om this

Re your question about leaving a rich man to be with a poor one... money isn't everything. It doesn't buy happiness. I have a relative who left an affluent marriage because it was abusive. Later met a much poorer man and is happy as anything. But that's because she left an abusive man, and ended up with a decent one. The money doesn't come into it. If you are unhappy / in an abusive relationship / with the wrong person, you shouldn't stay because their money is handy.

But in your situation - leave your unhappy marriage by all means. But not to jump straight into another relationship. That would be so hard for your children to deal with. Nothing to do with the money situation.

Zombie

This 100%

Why the fuck are you leaving you husband for another person? If you want to leave him, it should be for you. Because you'd be happier alone than with him.

Once you're single, then you can start looking to date. It sounds from your post like you'd be moving you and your kids straight in with this new bloke. You should even be introducing your kids to someone new until youve been seeing them a year!

If you want to leave your husband then do it, but not for another man. Do not put your children through a broken home and new step parent in one swift move. Your husband also deserves better, how awful for him to discover his wife is so miserable with him that she would rather be alone, but totally soul destroying for him to be cast aside for someone else. Why would you treat him so badly? You say your not happy but you’ve not said anything to indicate he’s been a terrible husband or father so the least you can do is treat him the way you would want to be treat yourself

So you’d be happy for your children to live with their Dad and for you to move out and set up home with your new man but because of circumstances, you’d need to bring your children too ??? And they think they are living in a happy home now ?

Of course they will resent you, of course they will miss the material things they have grown up with, their nice hime, etc.

If you are unhappy, by all means separate but it’s not going to be easy fir your children, particularly since you have already met a new man.

You need to think about how YOU will pay your way.

The New man's salary is completely irrelevant. He's not going to cover you and your kids (if he's claiming he will then be aware he is likely a con artist trying to real you in. Abusive men like to pretend to be white Knight...in the beginning).

You need to get a job and do that.

New guys money is none of your business.

Can you cope single? If so, get single. Life is too short for a loveless marriage. BUT end it with new guy too. Leaving one relationship for another is a recipie for heartache, drama and disaster. Maybe you can tell him to get back in contact in a year if he's still single. But for now, just get out of your bad marriage and focus on starting fresh, earning for yourself and your kids.

The parent who leaves having had an affair (even emotional like yours) often spends years trying to make it right with the kids. Your kids probably won't like your partner as a direct result of you breaking their family up to be with him (this is how it will look).

If you are so unhappy, then end your marriage asap. Wait at least 6 months before any mention of meeting someone to anyone, including your friends and family.

And just to reiterate op, if this guy genuinely is 'new' and he wants you to move in with him straight from a marriage (let alone with 2 kids!) he is a dodgy weirdo. I wouldn't trust him as far as I could fling him. Could even be a paedo, you never know. Trying to sell you thr dream if a happy relationship.

Any decent man probably wouldn't go near a married woman. Let's be honest about it.
Give your head a wobble.

Nothing good is built on the misery of others.

How mecenary you are, weighing up the financial implications before sticking in the final knife. How shallow.

Leave your husband first for you. Then find a replacement.

This is a 15 year old thread.

Have to agree. Obviously where there is DV or abuse the children are happier out of it, but it is used as a reason for splitting families up that are fundamentally fine but one parent wants to pursue something else and their own pleasures. Numerous threads about how devastating this is for children and the consequences for them. If you want to split a family up for your own happiness then own it, don't say if you are happy the children will be happy. That is not a given what so ever, and is usually the opposite.

Missed that. Wonder if the adult children will join us and say how it all worked out for them😂15 years has to be some sort of record