Anything your parents have let slip now you are an adult that you were oblivious to as a child?

[twentypence]

My dad said on the phone "oh, there's that mountain we climbed on the telly. You remember when I took you and your brother away for a holiday and mum stayed at home."

I didn't catch all of what mum said - but it was something to the effect that she wasn't best pleased to be reminded of the time they split up.

I had no idea - I just thought dad got more leave.

my very strict family who think sex out of marraige is totally wrong let it slip that my grandads mum was 13 when she had her first child 14 with her second 16 with her third was married at 17 then went on to have more kids. Oh and her husband was her cousin. Bit of a shocker

my dad ran over our cat.

They always told me that it had been run over on the main road about half a mile from our house. Apparently though he did it backing out of the drive.

That happened when I was 10 and I found out when I was 35

Oh and my mum was pregnant with me when she got married. I am not very good at maths and I was 15 before I realised that if they got married in March and I was born in August something was a bit amiss.

found out when i was 18 that i have a half cousin...
my aunt had fallen pg and was chucked out of the family home by my Gps so my mum and dad (newly weds) took her in, she was then whisked away to a mum and baby home to have the baby who was subsequently adopted.....
thing is - aunt then went on to get married and have 4 more kids - and as i went to school with all of them i dont think any of them know about this baby......
what they definitely dont know is that the child was coloured - and if my granny ever found out it would kill her - she's a horrible racist and the rudest woman out - its been on the tip of my tongue to say something to her on a few occasions just to make her shut up complaining about my mother....

oh this 1 wasnt me but a mate i went to school with.
She started seeing this older guy who was seriously seriously fit (we were all jellous). Anyway when she took him home to meet her mum it turned out the guy was actually her dad and he had no idea about her. Was really awfull for her. Luckily things hadnt gone as far as them sleeping together.

My Grandfather kept a wife and four children in a house in the country, whilst keeping a flat in London with his lover. He'd spend the working week with "her" and come home to the family at weekends.
At one point he even had the lover move in with the family for a year or two. This was all in late 40's/early 50's. Grandmother obviously knew about this, my eldest aunt was the only child who worked out what was going on.
When my grandmother died in the mid 70's my grandfather married his other woman. They spent two years together before he died.
I was about 12 when I finally realised I didn't know quite who "Grannie Flora" was. My Mum explained the history. My aunt is still bitter about her father's treatment of her mother.
I swing between disbelief that a man (and war hero too) can do that to his wife and children, disgust that Flora could treat another woman in that way and pity for Flora that she waited all her life for this man and only had two years with him in the end.

My mum had always told me that she'd chosen my middle name to remember her cousin, who'd died aged 16 in a car crash. What she only told me when I was older was that the cousin was running away with her boyfriend, because her family didn't approve of the relationship (he was black) and she was pregnant.

My Granddad had another 'wife' and daughter
Granny found out in her 60s - I think the daughter contacted her. She stayed with Granddad though. My Dad got in touch with his half-sister and they remained friendly.

I don't know any more than that - but some woman came up to me at my aunty's funeral, wittering on about how close she & Dad had been, and saying how she held me as a baby. If she was the sister, then Dad knew her far better and for longer than he let on. If not ... she was another woman who'd been very close to him, without Mum's knowledge

Who needs East Enders, eh?

When I was 16, my dad told me that when i was 10 a bloke rung the house one day saying he'd kidnapped me, and was going to do xyz to me.

He hadn't, I was at school perfectly unharmed, but he knew my full name and phone number.

When my dad told me, I did then remember a neighbour (who happened to be a police woman) taking me to the park and asking me questions, but I can't remember what.

Oh and less skeleton-in-the-closet, more random childhood obliviousness, but my Dad did a few funny things when I was young.

He went round the world when I was about 11, with my now stepmother (they got married in Las Vegas on the way) and I realised a few months ago that I had no memory of the first time I saw him when he got back, which considering he was gone for about a year puzzled me. I mentioned it to my mum and apparently he came back from his big trip round the world and proceeded to not see me or my sister for about 6 months because he "had nowhere to live"

Then when we did see him he was living in a weird place which called itself a farm but was a load of outbuildings converted very shoddily into flats. When they lived there I noticed they had developed a weird parenting technique of saying things about us loudly for us to deliberately overhear. Eg one night we were in bed (me, my sister and 2 cousins) and I heard my Dad say "E & E (our cousins) have been really good haven't they. We'll have to tell their mum and dad. Gold star." - it was weird, even I could tell adults didn't really talk like that. Last year they mentioned the place as my stepmum's mum is living there and apparently the whole time they lived there they were off their faces drunk as was everyone who lived there because it was such a weird, depressing place. And the people in the flat above were growing cannabis. And that would kind of explain why I was chased through the woods there by an unaccompanied dog. The weirdest thing was this was all as recent as 2000/2001!

My mom told me all this a couple years ago when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and felt very mortal. She's since beaten the cancer, but is glad she told me.

She had no idea she was pregnant with me until three months; was having regular periods and everything. She got horribly drunk at a party and literally crawled home. When she discovered a short time later that she was pg, she arranged an abortion as she felt sure to have done irreparable damage with the drinking. At the last minute, on the table with doctor ready to go she changed her mind and went home.

I had a twin that was miscarried.G

My parents got married when she was six months gone just to shut my maternal grandmother up. They divorced when I was 9.

My mom had a miscarriage after I was born. My sister was born the year after. When my younger sister was three, one day out of the blue she said to mom "I tried to come before, but you weren't ready yet.". Mom was quite shaken by it.

And last but not least, the night I had such a great time (9yo) throwing a whole flat of cherries at the chicken shed and finding it hilarious when they exploded was the same night that I apparently ate the "grown-up brownies". I don't recall being aware that there were kids brownies and grownup ones. I do remember how much fun throwing the cherries was. Mom was horrified when she realized and still feels crap about it.

BananaPudding What you little sister said is amazing!! Spooky, but more amazing.

Lol @ the grown-up brownies Glad your Mum recovered well.

My DH only found out how badly his Dad used to treat his Mum when she was telling me, about 3 years after we met.

Also, about 3 weeks before Xmas, his Mum casually mentioned his brother John when DH was speaking on the phone to her. DH hung up about 10 minutes later and said "Well fuck me. Did you know I had a brother called John? Apparently, he's the oldest?" (MIL & FIL split up when DH was 8 (I've never met him) and FIL was something of a serial-shagger during their marriage apparently).

She had never mentioned this person before

This is quite long...

My papa died a few years back.

My sister's DH was trying to get the day off work to attend the funeral (he was sales manager at a car firm). The general manager told him that one of the new mechanics (about 20yrs) had asked for the same day off for his papa's funeral too and asked if they knew each other.

Turns out that my uncle (about 40 yrs) had an affair with a woman and this child was the result but no-one else knew.

My uncle didn't keep in touch but my papa (65 yrs) did.

Wait for it.... because it could have been my uncles or my papas baby, woman had been having an affair with both of them!

For some reason this was "just one of those things" for my dad as they were both known to mess about with other women while both married! He was quite shocked when I mentioned the mechanic was either a half nephew or half brother! He wa surprised at this but hasn't taken it any further

Also my papa's brother commited suicide after his grandaughter threatened to tell everyone that she had abused him. Before he did it he told everyone that she had lied and was trying to get money out of him thinking he would just hand it over. don't know the truth as she moved away and doesn't speak to anyone but he was a bit weird and I tend to believe her

Blimey some of these are really heartbreaking! Mine is nothing like so dramatic.
I only remember my parents arguing once when I was a kid- My mum shoved a mirror over in the bedroom and it smashed on the floor. I went upstairs to see what happened and my mum was standing over my dad who was in bed.
Turns out that my dad for most of our childhood would regularly go and waste the family shopping money playing cards with his friends in a room above the pub. He even did it on Christmas eve once, and my mum had to get my auntie to open her shop on Christmas day when my dad was rolling in bed hungover just so she could get some food in for Christmas.
I remember it being a standing joke that my dad would go out for food shopping on a Saturday morning and return on Sunday evening! How little we thought of it but I'm surprised my mum stayed for 20 years. He was always in the pub- it was rare we did anything with him so when we did it was a treat and he was the 'fun parent'.
I mentioned last year that I remembered once she'd made mashed potato patties, rolled them in crushed bran flakes and fried them like fritters- they were gorgeous. She laughed and said "That was because there was NOTHING to eat once again!" My poor bloody mum- I remember my childhood as being truly fun, I was loved, cared for and had such a good time- how much she had to keep things going and normal for us!

.. that my parents had sex

that my dad spent christmas day one year under an upside down lorry helping ambulnce staff rescue a driver in a car accident, he is a fireman, i only knew when i found a press photo. it was freezing cold, full of snow and unstable but they didn 't have time to secure the lorry before going in to help the bloke...

.. sorry, it was unstable bec ause it had landed over a rivery ditch sort f thing.

My mother lived with her Aunt & Uncle in her teens after her step mother married my grandad and decided she didn't want any of his children. The step mother burnt almost all their possessions - all mum had was 1 pair of pants, 2 of GDads vests, 2 blouses her sister had thrown in the bin and 1 skirt with a bleach stain on it and no shoes .

Now I knew she went to live with A&U as child and they didn't have any children of their own but what I didn't know was when my Great Uncle was on leave from the Army (WW2) his wife got pregnant. His mother and sister convinced my great aunt that he would be killed in battle and as they were not going to help bring up the grandchild she had better get rid of it. The mother made my great aunt drink something which caused her to lose the baby and left her infertile.

My great uncle blamed my great aunt for not being able to carry a baby. A belief which was fostered by his mother. He never knew his own mother had aborted his only child (or indeed that it had even existed) and had left his wife unable to have any more.

This is one of the most interesting MN threads I've read!

I actually believed for a very long time that my family was extremely boring until the day a young woman appeared at my dad's shop and announced that she was his daughter. She was right. She's two years older than me and neither my mom nor my dad (or my younger sister) knew about her. She was the result of a short fling my dad had with a girl who subsequently left and didn't tell anyone about her pregnancy.

The story gets even more interesting (and tragic). This girl's mother was adopted herself, and mentally unstable. She married a guy (the only one my half-sister remembers as her "dad") who died of cancer when the girl was just five, and committed suicide when the girl was 18, and her grandparents (who weren't really her grandparents) died of old age, so my half-sister found herself alone in the world and managed to find her real father (my dad).

Fortunately this story had a happy ending. After almost costing my dad a divorce (my mum got really upset at this, even though it happened before she met my dad) today we all keep contact and my half-sis got married and has a beautiful DS (the spitting image of my dad at his age!) and is pregnant with her second child.

On a different note, and to join in with some pet stories... I had a dog who lived at my grandparents' farm which had puppies. When my grandma told me they were born, I rushed to see them. Three beautiful male puppies which I instantly fell in love with. I had always known we couldn't keep them, so I moved heaven and earth to find families to adopt the three of them. Soon after they were given away, a neighbour told me that initially seven puppies had been born, but my grandma killed all the female puppies "because it was harder to find someone who wanted them". I never understood why the need to kill the poor puppies, when I would have gladly worked harder to find houses for all of them. She didn't have to lift a finger. Never forgot and never forgave.

My husband has just discovered that a relative of his killed his wife with an axe because he thought she was having an affair & then committed suicide.

I have recently found out

• my great grandfather was the stage manager for the original windmill girls.
• my grandfather was one of 22 children (23 orginally).
• we descend from eastern european jews who came over to east london and were around at the same time as jack the ripper.

Bit of a mystery here, my Granndad died a few years ago and when he was alive had a special box that my Granny was never allowed to look in. Before he died he asked my Granny to look in it byt she refused probably because that would have meant accepting he was dying.

After he died she looked in the box and found an old picture of a young girl with a girls first name, the name of a German town on the back and Winter 194-something (can't remeber exact date). She has been kicking herself ever since thinking that he might have had a secret dd that he wanted to tell her about but since she didn't look in the box he never did.

I guess we'll never know now but it intrigues me!

Mine is very tame in comparison to these

I discovered that a family friend (known for all my life) had actually been my mum's boyfriend. Don't know the details of how it ended but since he and his ex wife were close friends with my parents, presumably there wasn't much scandal.
Until that point (I probably was about 11) I hadn't thought of my mum with anyone other than my dad!

Oh and I discovered when I was quite old that my dad had been questioned under suspicion of being the Yorkshire Ripper. As had every other man of certain age and colouring who lived in Yorkshire with a Wearside accent but still - what a claim to fame!