Dh is backing me into a corner and I feel so sad.

[Lonelymum]

Actually I feel like you did when you were a child and you want the comfort of home but it is home that is the problem so you feel you have nowhere else to go. Does anyone recognise that feeling?

For those who don't know my situation, dh changed jobs last week and moved to a rented house that the firm are providing for us until we can sell our home and buy another one. I want to move too to be with him, but he threw a wobbly last night and said he wants me to stay here until Easter and let the kids finish the term at their present school. I can't bear to be alone for five weeks, but I feel if I move the kids dh will never forgive me. He said I always get my way and he is not going to let me do so this time. I said would you hold it against me for the rest of your life if I moved this week? and he said yes! But I have a phobia which kicks in when I am alone with the kids and he knows about it so how can he do this to me?

I feel so lost. I want to move so I don't have to face my phobia but I am scared to go to him as he will hold it against me all our lives. I know that sounds ridiculous. I have nowhere to go and I am too scared to be on my own.

He is backing me into a corner and I feel very scared and angry and the emotions are making me feel ill all the time. What can I do?

Yes. Nice to know I am not alone and nice to be able to give my phobia a name and know I am not crazy when I talk about it, but not much help when it comes to being cured.

In simple words, my phobia is that the children will vomit full stop.

I am not sure how to answer. I am terrified of being alone with the children, mainly at night as part of the fear is being woken up and taken by surprise, if that makes sense. When one of my children vomits, I shake, cry, evacuate my bowels , have a sense of impending doom, lose most of my grip on reality, can't do anything, can't eat or drink....shall I go on?

Message withdrawn

Thanks. As I am moving and as I was so humiliated talking to my GP, I have decided to wait until I register with a new practice (which I probably will do straightaway as I have little ones) and start the process again with someone who I hope will be more understanding.

I must say though, all these tips and therapies from Mners are very useful to know about as I feel I can have a more proactive conversation with my GP about what I want to do about my phobia.

I'm so sorry your GP wasn't more help - well done though for going and asking. I hope your dh can be more understanding. Him being angry about it won't help anyone and I honestly can't see that your kids being taken out five weeks early from a school they are leaving anyway is any reason to bear a grudge for life. Make it a priority to register with a GP and get some help as soon as you move. This phobia is really affecting your quality of life and that's so sad.

oh LM you are so not alone. Your post of 1.28 could have been describing me, only not just vomiting, just if they are ill full stop, even if they have temperature. Fortunately dh isn't away overnight but he's not always as helpful as he might be if he thinks its my turn and why can't I just get on with it. I did take my children out but the thought of what they might catch is never far from my mind. We have continual hand cleaning before eating anything if we're out (small thing but helps me to cope). I am just starting to attend CBT for it but hah have had to cancel soooo many sessions because one of them is always ill at the moment so haven't got anywhere yet - how ironic! I know I'm not offering any constructive help but just wanted to make you feel less alone.

phobisanonymous, are you a regular poster? I don't want you to reveal yourself if you would rather not, but I would so like to know who you are within Mumsnet if you are someone I am likely to have spoken to before. You and I are not the only emetophobes on Mumsnet you know. Others have posted quite openly about it. I don't know if I should mention their names but if you look on the health threads, you will find 2 very long threads started by me about my phobia and you can see who else is an emetophobe. I shall see if I can do a link for you.

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