This is a long moaning post. Sorry.
Am 34 weeks pregnant and living in alien city which i moved to when we married recently. Have no friends here and quite lonely so friends visiting is really important to me. So far though whenever friends visit they flirt with my husband and this weekend I blew up over it.
Spent the weekend with single friend telling me how lucky I am to have him, how good looking he is and wonderful around the house etc etc. All true. On Sat eve she was asking personal questions about our sex life - if we have dirty sex etc which isn't that odd as we used to be very close when we were both single and talk about stuff like this, but I really didn't want to discuss this sort of thing infront of DH. We went out drinking, when we got home DH and friend pissed... friend starts pushing DH on the sofa, almost play fighting. Didn't say anything as put it down to drunkeness.
Next morning wake up alone, DH already downstairs talking to friend which is fine, DH says he's off to DIY store, takes friend who really wants to go (I don't want to) which is again fine. They get back and we all go for breakfast. As I go to get into the car I say 'oh, the backseat's still down' (no reason, just saying what I saw) to which friend replies 'yes, we were having rampant sex in the back of the car' which makes me feel strange. (Odd thing to say, no?)
Get to breakfast place, sit down with papers, eat food, friend keeps asking me questions about the baby and parenting styles regarding smacking etc. Everytime I answer I feel attacked. (Have to explain why I don't really agree with smacking kids, why we have the buggy we do, why we have a baby carrier etc - felt like 20 questions.) When we start talking about the baby carrier thing we have for DH to carry baby I say that I know he only wanted it to make him look sexy - you know... catalogue man with baby strapped to front, but also said that I am worried about him tripping and squashing baby. He starts to make jokes about my worries, she joins in etc. DH then says it'll be easier to use the carrier than wheel a buggy. I point out that babies need lots of other stuff so we'll still need a baby for bits and bobs and he tells me this isn't true - that his friends have informed him of this! I say 'you're really fucking me off now' (eloquent I know) to which friend starts saying 'oooooooh!' like a child. I say 'erm' as I can't think of the words I need (increasing problem since I've been pregnant which I have founds very frustrating) and husband does an impression of me. Friend laughs and I get up, tears in eyes and go to the bathroom. Friend comes to bathroom and I ask her to 'leave it' - she does. After composing myself I go back to the table (only 1 minute max) and realised I was actually really upset, burst out crying and say 'you're always a complete cunt when my friends visit' - I then leave with the plan of walking home as it's only 10 minutes away. DH comes after me full of apologies, we agree I am walking home and he will take friend back to house. I sob all the way home.
Get back and have 10 minute crying fit in bedroom explaining why I am upset (feeling ganged up on, having to explain self, him suddenly becoming Gina fucking Ford when the spines of all the baby books I've bought him remain pristine, him making fun of my slowness of late etc...) then hear the front door slam and run down to find friend putting bags in car crying and saying she's out stayed her welcome.
I quickly regain composure and convince her to come back in then spend next 45 minutes trying to stop her crying and convince her that none of this is her fault. Even tell her things about relationship that frankly I didn't want to tell her just to make her feel it's our problem and not hers.
She ends up staying for another couple of hours and calms down a lot but the day after I actually feel more angry. I feel like I always have to be the strong person - even though I was upset she ends up being the crying girl who gets sympathy! Husband seems to think all is fine and I actually now feel more mad with her than him. I never thought I'd be so jealous and possessive but I hate the way my friends act like this around him. He isn't a flirt in any way so I don't think he invites it.
I think I should have been straighter with her and said that yes, I did think she was out of order for various reasons. She's just very very fragile - problems with depression and doesn't have many friends to talk to. She said as much when she was crying.
Am I being crazy? I am hormonal at the moment but even writing this down makes me feel lonely and teary. I feel very unattractive which doesn't help. I am now dreading her coming after the baby is born as I fear a repeat of last time. I do really miss my friends but not when they are like this. Help! I feel lonely and miserable but confused. I don't like being so alone here but then I don't want friends to visit if this is what's going to happen. Aware that I probably sound like a pregnant nutcase overeacting about trivial things. Does anyone have any advice?