sorry teenymummy, didn't mean it that way.
if he was going to be off at the first sign of trouble, would he have not gone already?
when I said we are less likely to hang around, I meant that in a lot of the support groups we ran out of the clinic, women said they were more likely to hang on to something even when they knew it was wrong or was going no where whereas the men were more likely to end things. your B'f is still there, therefore he must think you are worth staying for and that there is something still between you but doesn't know how to handle it (like the majority of men wouldn't).
I have seen people push someone they deeply love away because of insecurity but most importantly because of a lack of confidence and respect in themselves.
This situation is not your B'f's fault, it is not your fault either, he could handle it differently but a lot of men react by how they think the woman wants them to react if that makes sense?
if you keep telling yourself and therefore him, that there is a deeper problem and that you believe he will stray, then statistically speaking there is more chance he will do so as it is what you are consciously or subconsciously telling him.
cheating men (and women) can be compared statistically to crime and criminals. crime is rife is this country and is on the increase the papers and TV would have us believe yes? but 95% of crime is committed by less than 0.2% of the population, so in fact, very few people are criminals but we have the misconception and wariness of all strangers that they could be muggers, robbers, murderers and thieves. its the same for cheating partners, the vast majority of people do not cheat, to the average man, another woman is a complication in his life that interferes with everything else he does. the idea may be tantalising but in practice it is something to be avoided, one bloke I remember in a support group a therapist was taking in the clinic said, another woman? I'd have to give up me footie on a saturday afternoon for that, no way!!
there are 2 ways ahead, get out with him and enjoy yourselves, which would entail positive thinking and compromise and a big effort between the 2 of you to get out of this rut you are both in, or for you both to go get help through a counsellor of some type.
www.overcomingpnd.com/
www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/mentalhealthproblems/postnatalmentalhealth/postnataldepres sion.aspx
www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/youafterthebirth/pnd/
my ex pushed me away constantly after the birth of our son, one minute she would tell me to go away another time she would complain that I never spoke to her but when I did try to talk to her I was rebuffed, so I too said often that I did not want to talk or we would talk later as it was the only defence I knew to avoid a row or whatever because I did not want to row with the woman I loved.
men are worse at taking control of a relationship/situation than women are, so take control and do something for your own sake, your childs sake and for the sake of your b'f and I don't mean that as a critism of you, but your life is in your hands now, clearly you are unhappy, you do not deserve that