And now to make matters more complicated . . .

[littlemissworry]

. . . I have really strong feelings towards my therapist. I know this is completely normal under the circumstances but it's tough too. Can't stop thinking about him. It's because I can talk to him like I can't my h. He's on holiday at the moment and i'm finding it hard - plus before I left he gave me a rub on the back just as I was leaving. I know it's only a transference thing but could do without it. And of course things are just the same with h - living apart, him refusing to move out etc. My poor head is all over the place! Just need tea and sympathy.

Many thanks Tracksuit- some work to do here!

Littlemissworry- you should trust your instinct on whether the therapist is "playing you"?

But ToughDaddy - that is partially the point. Why should she have to think about/worry whether her therapist is 'playing her'? It should never, ever be a consideration.

No I don't think he is but I shall keep a good eye on it. Just asked my parents. Interesting, my dad not worried, mum said to be careful!!

Think you should start another thread titled something like 'is it ever ok for a psychotherapist/psychiatrist/analyst to touch their patients as a gesture of kindness, affection or sympathy?' And give a few details as you have outlined in this thread.

Would be interesting to see if responses support my strong feelings on ethics of this.

I will do just that earlybird and see what happens!

Actually, I won't as I think it wasn't the right thing to do and will leave it at that. From now on though I plan to be very careful and will see how things go.

Up to you - but imo, you shouldn't have to be 'on guard' about your therapist's motives. Completely wrong focus and an unhelpful distraction.

Good luck, btw.

If the guy is a good analyst and you want to keep him, then you could do what other person said and discuss your feelings towards him and explore. But I think you need to be in control when you do that. So perhaps a bit complicated. Goodluck and remember that it can be okay to admire people/have crushes etc. Just make sure that you don't over complicate your life.