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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The poor woman next door :(

19 replies

MrsSnape · 30/08/2008 11:25

I posted on here a few weeks ago about shouting/violence coming from next door. Something to do with woman not eating and man going mental at her over it. In the end the police were called and it all calmed down. Didn't hear much else.

Anyway about a week after I posted that, an ambulance pulled up one day and a paramedic car. The paramedics were in the house for ages and then the woman came wobbling out, held up by a paramedic and got into the ambulance. Her husband came flying out of the house with the baby, he looked like he was crying and got into the car and followed the ambulance.

We've not seen either of them since apart from the womans parents picking up baby toys, clothes, putting the bin out etc.

Anyway today the man told my son to tell me that the woman was in hospital. I took this as an invitation to ask what was happening and when I went out to see him he said the woman is dying in hospital he was visibily upset. She hasn't eaten for weeks apparantly and they don't know if she'll ever come out of hospital now I'm so sad for them, he explained about the mad day when everyone was shouting and screaming. Today is the little girls birthday

Just wanted to update on my last post. Its definately a more complicated story than a straight forward dv case.

OP posts:
ThatBigGermanPrison · 30/08/2008 11:27

Oh Christ that sounds like a nightmare for all involved./ I'm couldn't watch the other parent of my child willfully starve to death

Lazarou · 30/08/2008 11:33

I remember that! My god, I hope she pulls through, it is possible.

sadandscared · 30/08/2008 11:42

I remember the thread.
I can understand the shouting etc now. Obviously I don't condone violence, but my god in that situation you would be so desperate to try any kind of tactic to save her from herself wouldn't you?

MatNanPlus · 30/08/2008 11:44

The poor family, to have to watch a LO do that to themselves and i really do think you would try anything if you had tried and failed to get anywhere before.

QueenMeabhOfConnaught · 30/08/2008 11:45

MrsSnape, I remember your posts about this. Poor family - the stress the husband must have been under and goodness knows what was going through the wife's mind. So sad.

solidgoldbrass · 30/08/2008 11:47

What a shame. It did sound in your original thread as though it was a more complex situation than many DV cases: very sad for all concerned.

3andnomore · 30/08/2008 11:51

Oh, that is really sad
must be horrific for those involved

NothingSweetAboutMe · 30/08/2008 11:51

I remember the original thread too. How awful.

So tragic.

Kimi · 30/08/2008 12:00
Sad
MrsSnape · 30/08/2008 12:04

She's only in her 20s

I told her husband I would pop around in a couple of days to see how things are. I told him I didn't want to appear as the nosey neighbour which is why I've kept my distace so far but he was really nice about it. In his country people are still very much involved with their neighbours lives so I think he appreciates it more than maybe a British man would.

She's such a lovely, sweet woman too.

OP posts:
SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 30/08/2008 12:11

i dont think she is willingly starving herself to death. anorexia is a very serious mental health disorder. and its not usually to do with weight or even food but is a symptom of something else being out of control. the starving is used as a way of punishing yourself or gaining control over you life. its a terrible disease. my sympathys are with the woman and her family

a family friend battled anorexia for many years. her mother was told she was close to death many times but she eventually beat it and though she is still at risk of replapse has been well for five years so there may still be hope for this woman if she gets the help and support that she needs. have you tried putting him in touch with any anorexia support groups or anything?

Alambil · 30/08/2008 12:18

Anorexia is awful; my cousin struggles with it

She got down to 6st I think at her lowest, and she was given a lot of support and help - she's now a healthy size 8/10 and although she still struggles, she knows how to cope.

If this lady isn't too far down the road, they can pull her back with the right support... hope it works for her

MrsSnape · 30/08/2008 12:27

apparantly she also has type 1 diabetes which complicates things further he said?

OP posts:
SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 30/08/2008 12:30

i suppose he will probably be referring to giving her iv fluids and the build up drinks they are given as they are also sugary. plus if she is refusing to take her insulin becuase it may cause weight gain she could have some very serious side effects e.g blindness, paralysis and other things even death in worse case senarios. i hope this woman gets the help that she needs before it is too late

Alambil · 30/08/2008 12:33

Well I guess so because you need regular food to keep insulin levels at a constant - so if she's not eating, her chances of illnesses and other problems are heightened

MrsSnape · 30/08/2008 12:47

He did mention blindness actually. He'd offered to pay for her driving lessons, the test and buy her a brand new car but she refused insisting that she will be blind by the time she's 30

OP posts:
Alambil · 30/08/2008 12:52

Poor woman hope she pulls through

3andnomore · 31/08/2008 01:30

Aww. Diabetis aswell as Anorexia...bad combination, I suppose, for many reason...one is, that a diabetic has to keep to a regular eating plan....in order to manage diabetis...
so, as an Anorexic you are more likely to go into a Hypo-glycaemic Coma.....

also, Anorexia in the later stage often brings skin sores with them, and for a diabetic those can be even easilier lethal, because diabetics suffer with bad woundhealing, especially if the Diabetis is not controlled (which in an norexic person would be a given )

Diabetis on it's own is difficult enough, but if well managed nowadays it does not mean loss of limbs or eyesight....

OH, I do hope that she will get through this and possibly wins the fight over anorexia....

Sorry, my post is rather a voice of doom....I suppose...
What a terrible situation for them.

nappyaddict · 31/08/2008 02:47

hopefully the hospital will get her eating again

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