He says he recognises he's depressed but then won't do anything. Won't go to the doctor. Won't make any changes to his life. Won't eat healthily, won't exercise.
I suffer from depression too but I have made changes to my life and taken medication to fix it.
I feel that he resents the fact that I have sorted myself out when he seems unable to.
I recently changed from FT to PT working hours, with his agreement I might add, and since then he has been so difficult to be around. His resentment is just so obvious. He admits he resents that I work part time now.
He is under a lot of pressure at work, they are short staffed adn he is studying for professional qualifications. I am doing all the housework, all the dd-juggling, cooking healthy meals and trying to be sympathetic when he comes home and spends an hour ranting about how crap his day has been. I have been trying to be affectionate and loving even though I don't feel like it atm. I am getting up with dd every morning so he can sleep. Somehow it seems that none of this is enough.
Things came to a head yesterday - dd and I went out for the day but got back later than expected. I had rung ahead to tell him I would be late and he seemed fine then. When I got home he was pissed, refused to speak to me, made a massive fuss of dd but I might as well not have been there. After dd went to bed I asked him what the matter was. He was feeling very sorry for himself. I said that I understand that he is under pressure at work but it's not acceptable to take it out on me. He was nasty and sarcastic and generally unpleasant.
I asked him last night, and have asked him before, if he has a problem with me or anything I have done. He refuses to answer.
What am I supposed to do? He won't talk to me. I am bending over backwards to be a supportive wife when all I want to do is rip his eyes out for being such a tosser.
I can't cope much longer. I want out. My own mental health is suffering because the situation drags me down. Whenever I do something to make myself feel better (eg meet friends like yesterday) I get home to a stroppy sulky husband.
I am trying to understand him as I know what it's like to be depressed but we seem to be making each other miserable and I don't know what to do to fix it other than to leave.
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Relationships
DH is depressed. I am trying my best to be sympathetic and supportive but he is being a t**t and my patience is wearing thin. Help needed please [sob]
17 replies
OhDearWhatCanTheMatterBe · 30/08/2008 09:47
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