Feeling like a spare part......

[Gwynie]

We've been invited to a evening wedding reception by a friend of a friend of a friend (ie, aquaintance) which was fine.....until I found out that my friends have been invited to the day!

Ok, my friends actually socialise with this person on a regular basis, whereas I see her once in a blue moon.

Anyway, common sense tells me that it's really nice to be considered as a guest at all, but deep down I'm really feeling left out.

DH and others that I have spoken to about it say that I'm overreacting and I KNOW I am, but I still feel down.

Any advice?

Oh, Jasper and Lindy, we did the mini-register-office thing too - 4 mates, no parents and then down to the pub.

The photographs are very minimalist!

Lindy, you'd have liked mine. No seating plan (picnic on the lawn from giant outdoor buffet), no speeches (just five minute thanks and toast from the best man), and no sitting still unless you wanted to (croquet, frisbee, boating & large grounds to walk in or big sofas to lie on indoors). Nice weather and unlimited free drink too!

Mine was informal too. Registry office do, reception at the local park tea house. Guests brought food to share instead of buying us a gift (we had been living together for yonks and had a 3 year old), lots of relaxed friends having a nice time, and only 1 or 2 quick toasts. And even if we could do it again with an unlimited budget I don't think I would have a better time!

My BF got married 10 years ago in a very small register wedding. Just themselves and two witnesses, mainly because they couldn't stand the thought of the whole wedding nightmare. They eventually told her family, but to date they have still not told his parents. (Cue much evasion and frantic shushing whenever said parents are present)

They've kept it secret for 10 years Slug?! That's amazing - I assume they don't all live in the same town or anything? I must admit, I would be very upset if any of my children didn't at least tell me they were getting married, but 10 years, wow!

They live in London, his parents in Devon and hers in NZ. His brother and some of the other family know, but the longer it goes on, the more difficult it becomes. What makes it worse is his only brother hasn't got married, but had a "commitment ceremony" In the woods, wearing a skirt - you get the picture - so their poor mother has been deprived of any chance of playing mother of the groom.

Mind you, she is middle class of the Hycanith Bucket variety, so you can see why they might want to avoid the whole thing.

Oh dear, yes, I get the picture, Slug! Maybe the parents have an inkling and are too afraid to ask - I can imagine everyone sort of shilly-shallying around each other, no one prepared to make the first move. It's quite sad, really, though.

On the other side of the coin, I know someone who pretended to be married for over 30 years! The "wife" changed her name by deed poll and no one was any the wiser. Truly amazing.