I am married with dc. My h admits that he never really gave 100% to the marriage and during the time we have been together he has been unfaithful to me quite a few times, is extremely verbally abusive and very controlling re money etc. He does not help in the house in anyway and gets really angry if I ask for help with the dc. Will do it in the end but there is always a row. I have wanted to leave him for a long time but it never seemed the right time or I just kept giving it one more chance.
I am doing an access course this year and want to attend University next year. Whenever I have mentioned university and a career in the past to H there has always been an issue, doesnt fit in with family, I should have done it before I settled down with dc, anything I do needs to fit in with them, he wont support me financially while I piss around at uni.
Having looked into it I realise I would be much better off financially, studying as a lone parent. H now plays lip service to supporting me but I know that he wont and I dont want to have to depend on someone so unreliable. I feel though, that if I leave now then I am being really cold and choosing uni, career and financial security for my kids (something I doubt we will ever get with h) over marriage and family but if I stay with him all I can see is years more nonsense and unhappiness with him, with me doing crappy unskilled jobs and never getting anywhere. I never left before because he is a good dad, he loves his kids and they love him and I just put all my own unhappiness aside to keep the family together. Please give me you opinions and advice.