I absolutely adore my DP, but lately I've been worried I'm pushing him away because of PND, and tonight he's sort of confirmed it.
We're very lovey, and he works full time (I'm on maternity leave at the moment), then he has one evening to himself per week when he plays football (probably like most men). The rest of the time we're together. He has 2 days off per week (these change) and we do things together- go for lunch, cuddle up with a DVD and a takeaway, look after DS together, go to family things together etc.
But since he's started football I've felt very left out as his work friends txt him and his football friends txt him, and they all mingle together and have a good laugh etc. He always has something new to tell me.
However, i don't see much of my friends anymore as I have a baby and I've been struggling with the depression so everything overwhelmes me, and I think i've turned down meeting up with them so many times that they've given up.
I just worry that I am boring and have nothing new to tell him, and it's unhealthy that I do nothing. Next month I start back at work and it's going to be very stressful. I'll have a lot of work to do at home.
Today I said 'since you're going to football for 2 hours tonight, on your next day off I'd like 2 hours to myself whilst you mind baby'. He looked all hurt and said 'that's all you care about- spending time on your own. You always want to get away from me. I only have 2 days off a week at most and you don't want to spend the day with me.'
I felt terrible. He's such a lovely man. I have brought up having some time to myself a few times lately, but not because I don't love him.
I think he's feeling quite rejected because of the PND, I have been quite cold I suppose.
I just love him to bits and don't want to lose him.
I'm just trying to get things straight in my head really so wanted to write it down and get it out.