Is it a problem if DH prefers porn to me?

[Farfromporn]

He rarely wants sex but he always likes porn.

The other day he wanted sex, and we had it a few times so it's not like he's completely gone off me.

Otherwise the relationship is fantastic.

Bothers me that I've recently had a baby because my body's horrendous now. I also always want sex and this seems to turn him off and make him say no, where as if he initiates it, he wants it. However, it seems he wants things done to him rather than do them to me, and he used to like it both ways, and like enjoy doing things to me. It's well over a year since he last went down on me.

After sex the other day he commented that my bum was hairy and we laughed our heads off. We always have a good laugh together. But afterwards I secretly felt a bit put out and embarressed

Sorry I'm not in a relationship so not sure how to answer. However someone will. The thing that caught my eye was when you mentioned your hairy bum! Thing is mine is getting really hairy. I don't know where its come from .

I will need to wax next time I take a lover. Do you think he finds this a turn off. As I say I'm seriously thinking of waxing.

Sorry I couldnt answer your question directly.

I guess so if he felt the need to point it out I'm normally completely hair free. And I am ginger so maybe it's gross. I just missed it when shaving in the shower.

Have you asked him directly if there is a problem/tried to talk about it?

olympics, was that for me. If so I deserved it. It was just the moment before I read the OP's post that I was thinking of it. I realise I should not have posted.

flatbroke, not at all

you can post what you like of course

OH NO, this is my sister's log in, I didn't swap back to mine after she came on MN. She's going to know I said this now . Don't judge me sis. Also, I read the thread you started on PND and I'm going to come with you to the docs chuck.

FFS don't rush out and start waxing your arse! Is his arse hair-free? Do you actively like it? I thought not...

He is your DH and you need to talk to him before you start guessing and subjecting yourself to things like that [ouch ouch ouch]

could you not try watching it together? i've just had a baby too....my fifth,but have worked hard to get sex life back on track!! even so,its a little different..

Isn't it just? I don't know why it changes. It hasn't on my behalf, I fancy the pants off him.

which end was he at when you had the baby? have heard this can put some men off? not sure how true it is though.....also,maybe he's scared of getting you pregnant again? did you have a tough birth? could be anything,only he knows...

FFP - I could have written your thread word for word, apart from my DH hasn't mentioned a hairy bum yet!

I feel sad about my situation and it's not improving, no matter how hard I try.

Can't help you I'm afraid, but I'll await some advice.

I am really confused, are there sisters on here?

But back to the point of course it is an issue if he prefers porn to you. Relate do a really good book on sex problems in realtionships, I think it would be worth a look.

PLease don't shave your bum it will grow back thicker an imagine sitting on bum stubble.

If you think it's an issue, then it's an issue. Doesn't mean either of you is right or wrong, just means you need to talk about it.

I know what you mean re: the porn thing, my hubby is obsessed, but lies about it, i see it in his history. Again we still have sex 2 or 3 times week and our bubs is only 9months old. But he's also doing chat rooms. Agree with Solidgoldbrass, if its a problem for you, its a problem for both of you. Talk to him about your feelings.