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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice on how to ask a guy out please! I'm too shy but I really want to......

44 replies

dee24 · 17/08/2008 15:17

Ok, simple enough! Really like a guy at work have done for a few months. When I first started had to work with him a bit so chatted to him a few times, but since then we havn't really had a chance to, as he seems really quiet (but he still smiles at me). Had a fab works night out a few weeks ago, wore a very nice cleavage enhancing top and after a few drinks got the courage to go and chat to him. He invited me out with him and few other folk so that was fun (though I did drink a bit too much ). it was all very sweet, one of the sober girls said she thought he liked me and outside he held my hand as we walked around (LOL, can you believe i'm bloody 25!!!!!) Went back to a house with everyone for some karaoke and again it was all very sweet, and we both crashed out on the couch. Without even a snog, whats that all about!?!? Woke up a few hours later, he was really quiet and a bit funny at first but we chatted away while he gave me a lift home and I gave him a kiss on the cheek, said thanks for my lift and away I went.
So since being back at work, we're acting even more shy! He won't come near me, or even look if anyone else is around but a girl asked me if we were going out again, so obv someones said something. And that's made me worse!! He spoke to me for 2 minutes when I was on my own (albeit a bit flustered) but I haven't had a chance to chat to him since He's still smiling at me though and I dont want to leave it too long incase he thinks I'm not interested. I keep thinking he likes me, but then think, maybe he's just being nice. Esp after dropping me off at my skanky flat lol! I don't know!! I've never asked anyone out (or been asked out tbh ) so it's all new to me. A friend suggested that as he seems shy and I don't get to chat to him, I should maybe send him an email on payday keeping it casual. Something like 'it's payday and I've nothing planned, don't suppose you fancy going for a drink?' Aaaaaahhhhh! I've not got a bloody clue, help! Not used to shy boys at all

OP posts:
solidgoldbrass · 18/08/2008 22:32

Yup, email him but keep it light and casual and friendly. And if he says 'no' but gives a reason ie he has another appointment, wait a week and ask again. But if you ask him a third time and he still says no, then leave it up to him to make the next move. It's possible for someone to be unable to make three dates, but if the person is interested he/she will then offer an invitaion in return. If not, then he/she is not interested.

Remotew · 18/08/2008 22:37

Thinking back, I did go out with one guy who had said that he had never chatted a woman up or asked someone out. We met through mutual friends, it flowed and it was mutually agreed that we would meet again.

Most men I've known are not backwards in coming forwards if they are interested though even the shy ones.

However don't let me stop you missing your chance. I never have much luck

laurenslovelymummy · 18/08/2008 22:39

Ok, how does this sound?

"Had a really good laugh with you guys at the night out, in fact it was one of the funniest nights out I've had in a long time. I don't suppose you fancy doing it again sometime? I probably owe you a few anyway, and I promise not to murder any kooks songs this time. Have to say that was awful.....funny, but awful! Anyway, if you're up for it my number is , give me a call"

(to explain, he paid me into the club that night and bought me all my drinks, and we murdered a few songs together on karaoke, awful!)

Is that casual enough?

Remotew · 18/08/2008 22:45

Yes, sounds good to me. Do it, also let us know how you get on.

If he says no you can also reply OK another time, I've asked so and so. Then ask a few of the others.

ToughDaddy · 18/08/2008 22:47

Agree with those who say keep it light. Why don't you say/try to arrange a (small) group outing? Or is that what you are planning. Invite a couple other blokes and a girlfriend. Play it cool(ish) though. Just do the standard flirting as with any other guy and see what happens.

laurenslovelymummy · 18/08/2008 22:50

Well I thought that if he said no then I can pretend I meant as a group as I did have a really good laugh with them all. My work just sucks as there are so many stupid little offices, you only really get the chance to say hi if you hang around reception (which one of my rather amusing friends suggested lol!)

Ok, going to send then go to bed and try not to think about it!!! I know the guys are all really busy just now so won't expect anything back really soon...can't believe I'm doing this!!

ToughDaddy · 18/08/2008 22:50

Abouteve- yes must be reassuring to know that partner is admired by peer group? I used to put it down to us blokes being juvenile.

ToughDaddy · 18/08/2008 22:52

Sending message at this time is a give away unless you are inviting others on the email? Sorry but this reminds me of my school days

laurenslovelymummy · 18/08/2008 22:57

Well I don't really want to invite out loads of guys though, all my girly friends have partners so can't really suggest that
So what should I do then???? I'm losing it again, ahhhhh!

laurenslovelymummy · 18/08/2008 23:02

Right, i'm away to bed. Will think about what to do tomorrow.

Dior · 19/08/2008 09:09

Message withdrawn

chapstickchick · 19/08/2008 10:41

blardy do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ToughDaddy · 19/08/2008 14:03

Email during day okay but at midnight might be giving the entire game away.

Dior · 21/08/2008 12:10

Message withdrawn

nappyaddict · 17/09/2008 23:32

did you send it?

laurenslovelymummy · 17/09/2008 23:40

haha, I forgot all about this :D Had no internet for a few weeks.
I ended up blagging his phone number and sent him a text a few weeks ago, and he said yes!! seemed quite keen as well, or i'm guessing as seen as he told quite a few people in the office! Saw him at the weekend for a drink and a film, and it went ok
So hopefully do it again in a few weeks, he does seem very nice

nappyaddict · 17/09/2008 23:53

ah yay. glad it went well. now i need to somehow get over my own shyness.

laurenslovelymummy · 18/09/2008 13:14

Do it, Do it! It's made me feel much better about myself Even if nothing comes out of it, it's certainly gave me a confidence boost.
I asked him why he hadn't asked me out and he said he thought I'd say no, so i guess guys are just the same!

nappyaddict · 18/09/2008 15:31

Oh we've already been out for drinks n stuff. Now I just have to kiss him. I realised yesterday apart from when i was 13 i have never had a first kiss stone cold sober. It's a scary prospect!

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