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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I tell fiance I don't like his honeymoon idea?

27 replies

Duece · 16/08/2008 21:37

We are due to get married next month. We were discussing where we would honeymoon for ages and then we decided he could choose it and it would be a suprise for me. I was never really struck on this idea for obvious reasons but I let it go, thinking it wasn't important WHERE we go, just what we make of the time.

Anyway as time went on I 'strongly hinted' at a few destinations, the usual Paris, Venice, Rome to name but a few, I assumed he would pick Paris for some reason.

Anyway last weekend I got totally fed up of not knowing what was planned and asked him, turns out he's booked a week in Majorca. I really don't want to go. This has always been my idea of a nightmare holiday, Its just not 'me' at all and it really saddens me to think this is where we're going to spend our honeymoon.

I tried to accept it but I really don't want to go and feel myself getting quite angry at him about it. How would you handle this?

OP posts:
jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 16/08/2008 21:40

I would go and not say anything. It's presumably too late to change and I don't think it really matters where you go on honeymoon. You'll get to spend some time together and that's the most important part.

Majorca is apparently lovely away from the resorts. You might have a nice surprise.

theoutsiderbottleofwine · 16/08/2008 21:41

If it's booked then it will take a great deal of effort, unpleasantness, bad-feeling and money to unbook it and book something else. Do you really want to put both of you through that?

You say you were never that much in favour of the idea of him booking it but "I let it go, thinking it wasn't important WHERE we go, just what we make of the time." If you thought that when you were thinking unemotionally then it's still true.

JuneBugJen · 16/08/2008 21:42

at least there is SUN!!!!!

thisisyesterday · 16/08/2008 21:42

I agree with jimjams. you agreed to let him book it, he has planned something he presumably thinks you will both enjoy.
go. you might surprise yourself and have a great time.

gagarin · 16/08/2008 21:43

Have you ever been? Some of the island is very posh and very beautiful - and not at all touristy.

You might have a great time.

squeaver · 16/08/2008 21:43

Are you sure he's not trying to throw you off the scent??

On the other hand, you might be staying here in which case I'm

TheHedgeWitch · 16/08/2008 21:46

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Hassled · 16/08/2008 21:46

We went to Majorca at Easter and away from the touristy bits it is jaw-droppingly beautiful. I agree you have to bite the bullet and just go - and it will probably be great.

artichokes · 16/08/2008 21:47

Away from the main resorts Majorca is lovely. There are some very unspoilt areas. Presumably your fiance carefulyl chose something he thinks you will love. Alternativly he knows how you will react to the name Majorca so is winding you up and will suprise you with your dream honeymoon.

Wherever you go honeymoons are about luxuriating in your relationship and being a married couple. Don't start your marriage by criticising his first decision for you as a married couple. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

StarlightMcKenzie · 16/08/2008 21:49

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JuneBugJen · 16/08/2008 21:49

oh my life squeaver. I'll go there with you!

ahundredtimes · 16/08/2008 21:51

Bad idea to let anyone book a holiday for you.

I'd talk to him about it, in a totally reasonable, cheerful way. Don't throw a strop.

But if you think he's booked the two of you into a beach resort which you will hate - then you'd better start the talking now, rather than after you are married.

Lots of Majorca is really nice. He might be teasing you.

Talk to him.

Remotew · 16/08/2008 21:56

It will still be nice and hot. Majorca can be romantic too. Wait and see he may have been telling porkies. Depends how much it really bothers you.

Have you been on similar sun, sea holidays together? If so he may think that that's what you would like for your honeymoon. It's a smart man that actually takes on board hints.

squeaver · 16/08/2008 21:59

I know, June. We went there pre-dd. It's AMAZING!

Alexa808 · 17/08/2008 10:37

BJB, there's def no sun guarantee for Mallorca... I remember they had plenty of rain and storms quite a few times while continental Europe was baking hot.

I have to say Malorca is beautiful, esp. the north. It's not all white-red Englishmen and Germans with towels, sleeping off their hangovers on the beach. It can be very romantique and private. Definitely go online and arm yourself with info and tips on where to go and what to do. Maybe make some reservations yourself? Book a car and just chill. Try to see the positive side of it: he did make the effort and book and must be quite excited. No need to kick him in the balls and tell him he's useless (which you'd do if you insist on re-booking). Agree with theoutsider and gagarin.

herbietea · 17/08/2008 10:56

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MrsSnape · 17/08/2008 11:20

Ibiza has the same kind of reputation as Majorca (worse really) but we went last year and the entire island was beautiful, quiet and relaxing. However we took a day trip to San Antonio and that was a completely different story!

So it really does depend on where exactly he has booked and what kind of holiday he is planning. There are two sides to these types of places IMO.

Heifer · 17/08/2008 11:42

Agree with other posters, parts of Mallorca (posh me) are lovely.

Try to find out where you are staying, and what accomadation etc. You may be surprised..

I went to a Greek Islands for our HM and had our own villa with bit of beach (no one else there at all) and a motor boat to potter around on. Was fantastic and very romantic as so peaceful.

Give it a change. And look forward to your wedding and HM.

Even if you are not happy with the arrangements, you will have loads of holidays together in the future, and the worse case scenario is that you can book a 2nd HM yourself after 5 or 10 years of marriage...

Rhonds · 17/08/2008 11:47

Do your diamond shoes pinch much?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 17/08/2008 12:44

Lol @ Rhonds

You don't. You shouldn't have left it up to him if you wanted input. Relax and enjoy yourself, at the end of the day the honeymoon is just a holiday, next time you choose where you go.

And Majorca does have some lovely bits, there will be sun, scenery, food and drink, and your beloved for company! Enjoy

jalopy · 17/08/2008 13:06

I don't think this is anything to do with holiday destinations.

I think the real issue is about how you and and your partner communicate with each other. He didn't pick up on your 'stongly hinted' suggestions and now you are feeling increasing angry about it.

Don't give him a hard time. It's best to be really honest and open. A successful relationship is all about good communication.

Sermon over

TwoWindyDays · 18/08/2008 13:54

Paris is great place to celebrate a year of marriage

chipmonkey · 18/08/2008 14:47

First of all, Majorca is beautiful. The Cathedral in Palma is very impressive and the cente ogf the island is all almond groves and lemon trees. It has a bad image, given to it by some of the resorts but the island as a whole doesn't deserve it.

KerryMum · 18/08/2008 14:49

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tiredemma · 18/08/2008 14:52

Second all the comments on here about how beautiful Majorca is.

I lived there for four years and its still my most favourite place to be.

Whereabouts on Majorca has your DP booked?