Friends Divorces

[Celery]

I'm witnessing the marriage break up of my friends, their (ex) friends are involved, several children on both sides. God, it absolutely sucks doesn't it? So many people involved, so many people in so much pain. urgh.

Own marriage not fantastic, things have happened here in the past too, but got out before anybody found out and was hurt, and bloody hell, I am glad that happened. Wouldn't want to wish this much pain on my worst enemy to be honest.

It's a different kind of pain when you make the decision to break an illicit relationship for 'all the right reasons', than when it all goes nuclear in a legitimate one. Do you agree?

In the former - it's an inward bitter pain which has no outlet (other than MN perhaps).

Does it help you with your situation Celery, that you are seeing the devastating effects first hand ?

Yes it does, absolutely. I was "over" what happened in my situation before I started witnessing it with my friends, and it's totally validated everything I thought.

I'm sorry for your freinds - but I'm also glad that you managed to find strength to work your way through what happened to you ( I remember you from threads passim).

I remember you. You talked a lot of sense.

I didn't really want this thread to be about me anyhow.

It just really bangs home when you see it happening to people you are close to the enormity of it all. And so many other people feeling the need to draw conclusions and take sides, and publicly commenting on it via their facebook status'!!

The shit's really going to kick off when both partys have to face each other, and everybody else, on the school run in a couple of weeks time. It's a small town, everybody knows everyone.

I guess there's no takers for this thread anyway.

I went through a similar thing pre-kids, for a while I was the only one who knew that one friend was cheating with her husband's best friend (they asked me and dh to go on holiday with them - this is the wife and the best friend - so it would look more convincingly like a "friends' holiday". Oddly I said no ).

That was pretty traumatic and didn't involve kids or close proximity, as I was living some distance away from where the action was happening. It was still horrible.

Commenting on it via your Facebook status is something any non-teen should be ashamed to do, that's just juvenile.

Well, it's always a mess when a relationship break-up isn't a mutual decision (ie one partner wants to keep going). However in the majority of cases, once the dust has settled, it ends up being for the best all round: try to hold that thought.