I don't know if anyone would remember me, a few months ago I found out my partner was married to another woman already and had three children.

[almostthesecondwife]

The original thread for anyone who remembers is

here

Dp's wife has filed for divorce as she says it is over and she can never trust him again. She says she would one day like our children to meet, but at the moment she doesn't know if she can tell her children of the betrayal on top of the fact their parents are getting a divorce and I can totally understand that.

As for xp, he has disappeared. No-one knows where he is, but both me and his wife had an email from him about six weeks after he went missing, saying that he was unable to face up to what he had done, that he was very sorry but that he had decided to leave the country and try to put his life back together. To not try to find him because he doesn't feel he can ever come home again and that he doesn't want his children to ever find out what he had done.

The police have said it's quite possible he has another secret life somewhere but they said there's really no way of knowing as he seemingly has disappeared without a trace.

So his stupid cowardly actions have left two women without a partner and 5 children without a father.

As for me, I have spent the past few months putting my life back together. My family and friends have been very supportive, it's amazing, you find out at times like this who your friends really are and what they mean to you.

My baby is due in three weeks and the pregnancy has been going well. I have, maybe stupidly, wondered if xp will get back in touch around my due date, but I don't really even know why I care any more.

Bloody hell - you'd think in putting his life back together () he could put some money in an account for his children / wife, wouldn't you?

What a bastard.

Glad you are OK, aasw, and can get by without him - just as well, really.

And his family don't take responsibility, either - well, there's the start of the pattern.

Anyway - it is your future that is important now.

You are amazing and so is the wife. Good luck to you (and her, poor woman). Just shows you though how women can be so constructive at the worst of times and pull through all that destruction. (Thats why they should rule the world) Well done and sit down one day and write a book. Amazing post and amazing strength. Goosebumps type strength.

You are amazing and so is the wife. Good luck to you (and her, poor woman). Just shows you though how women can be so constructive at the worst of times and pull through all that destruction. (Thats why they should rule the world) Well done and sit down one day and write a book. Amazing post and amazing strength. Goosebumps type strength.

ATSW - Take him to court for child support. He is AWOL, he owes you child support. There is your reason for bringing charges against him.

(Or not? I know nothing about UK law)

We have the wonderful Child Support Agency in the UK. And they'd have to find him. Even if they had his address, you could grow a long grey beard before they did anything about it.

I remember the original thread, thanks for posting an update.

Horrendous for you and his poor wife too, but it sounds like you have both dealt with it in mature and reasonable manner that he was clearly incapable of.

I hope you and your children have a very happy future.

I was thinking about this only the other day - thank you so much for letting us know how you are.

Like everyone else, I can only express my amazement and horror at your situation and my absolute admiration for how you've coped.

All the very best with the birth of your lo.

ATSW- was thinking about you the other day and really pleased to read you are only three weeks away from have your 2nd DC!

Well done for getting this far and you come across as a very down to earth and make the most of what you got attitude! really hope all goes VERY well for you and the DC!

Message withdrawn

I was wondering how you where the other day.

So sorry to hear of his parent's reaction, how horrible!

As for him doing a runner, how cowardly! I guess it is in his personality though, to have done what he did and decieve tow women for his own selfish gain is pretty cowardly isn't it.

Good luck with the pregnancy and birth, keep us all up to date!

What an ARSE your partner is. I lurked on your other thread and remember being astonished at how low some people can go (not you, obviously, him).

Good for you for getting on with things and I hope your baby is as much of a delight as you deserve (ie LOTS). Sorry for the caps, but really I am in awe of how well you have coped with this and wish you all the very best.

Ex-partner, I mean, of course.

Well, his parents are no better than him, you can see where he got it from!
You are better off without them and him!
Good luck with the new baby!

ATSW - at his parents! somepeople just wont accept when a relative has done wrong. Obviously you are a terrible woman for trusting a man, and settling down with him. I agree with the others - you have handled this so well. for you and the wife. What a cowardly man. He should have the spine to face up to the consequences of his actions!

Good luck for the birth of you LO. Thanks so much for the update, I have been wandering how you got on. Don't forget to update us on the birth of baby!

CSA wouldn't look for him if he's outside the UK - I've tried with my ex...

I'm glad you and the wife are on "good" terms; you're amazing to have handled this so well!

What's happened sounds horrible for all of you involved, and his wife's kids not only have to cope with the divorce but that he's not even there for them.

Good luck to you in picking up the pieces and with the new baby, hope you can continue to find MN a support, not just with talking about what's happened with this man.

I remember and have been wondering how you were getting on. So glad for you that you have been able to move on mostly. What an absolute coward he is and what an easy get out clause to say 'don't try to contact me'. You and his ex wife are so well rid of him.
I wish you all the best and a large dose of strength.
x

Shame on his family, absolutely disgusting behavior all round. What an utter coward. Leaving the Women with all the strain with no choice but to carry on. My God.

I feel for you so much. You sound like an amazing Woman and I really hope that you have a fulfilled life and that your DC bring you much joy. I also hope that you and his Wife are able to come together sometime and that you may bring each other some comfort one day. Please keep posting. take care and good luck for the birth xx

peace to you and his wife, and good luck with the baby. i hope the new life is a comfort.

Thank you so much for coming back to update us. I have often wondered how you are and hoped that you were coping.

I am so glad your pregnancy has continued to progress well despite the stress you have no doubt been under.

Look forward to hearing of your new baby's arrival