Is your dh/dp supportive re you and dc?

[prudencepinkleg]

I mean, if a dc of yours had to go to hospital appointments now and again, would he come with you? And if you had a health scare, e.g. found a lump, would he come with you then. Just wondering whether other dh/p alter work commitments to support their other halves in this way.

If I asked him to he would come, but wouldn't assume I wanted him to unless he knew I was worried.

He used to come to all my midwife appointments (he loved hearing that heartbeat) that didn't clash with a meeting (and tried to avoid arranging them to clash but he can be quite forgetful!)

However, we run our own business so its not a case of taking holiday / getting permission - but time off is often lost money for us, so he doesn't really do holidays

Think me and dh have a communication issue here - me worried to ask him incase of reaction. That's not right is it?

Can't remember an instance of dh coming with me to hospital appts with dc. He was either at work, or required to babysit the others.

He did come to antenatal appts for scans, and was there when I gave birth.

The only time I wish he had come with me was not a medical appt, but when I had a meeting at school to discuss the fact that dd1 was allowed to leave school without me, and went missing for half an hour (she was 5 and had been at school about 6 weeks). I was massively pg at the time and they managed to persuade me it was my fault. I'm still cross about it 8 years later.

no that isn't right ppl

you sound apprehensive about his reaction and unable to have a reasoned discussion with him

my dh is very supportive, and if i was frightened about something, he would do his best.
Sometimes its just not possible though, but I know he would try.

We've spent so much time in hospitals over the years we are kind of used to it and I'd be unlikely to ask. Also I know how hard it is for him to take off a specific time. I think he'd want to come if it was something serious with dd though - if he could.

Sounds like your dh is feeling very defensive. He sort of knows or feels that he should be more supportive and reacts to any discussion as though it were an accusation.

You have hit the nail on the head olympics - we cannot have a reasonable discussion about many things, and these appts are a case-in-point really. It was when ds2 was referred to a group at the hospital and we had to go and talk to them about what was involved. It was all the appts concerning those things which he didn't come with me to and decisions then had to be made with me relaying info to him second-hand. But it isn't just about that really. I do worry about how he'll react when we have to talk about non-everyday stuff. He has a tendency to either get quite angry or make me feel like it's a big deal. Sometimes he's ok though, and it's the unpredictability that is concerning. Not very nice really. I think he's dominant.

and controlling too prudencepinkleg

in that he makes you feel you can't say what you want, when you want for fear of an unexpected reaction

as regards the hosp appts etc, like other posters have said, some blokes just can't handle this kinda stuff

but no way should he make you feel bad for wanting a bit of support