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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

"oh so ill just starve then"........

22 replies

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 11/08/2008 20:02

this was said to me today when after asking what was for dinner i replied "i dont know im tired and i dont feel too well" not by a dc but my 32 y o dh

his pizza that i went to buy is now in the oven but im just so tired and i have migrane and im aching all over i couldnt be bothered to continue arguing with him about housework and food. so am currently sat waiting for the painkillers to kick in before i do the washing up.

can all you oh so nice and kind mnetters please explain to him what the appropriate response is next time i tell him im unwell.

he likes to read what i have posting in mn even though he knows is drives me nuts so im sure he will see it.

TIA.

OP posts:
fuzzywuzzy · 11/08/2008 20:05

forcefully slam his bollox in the oven door whilst heating up his fecking pizza, why was it not possible for the poor dear to get his own pizza, it's not exactly brain surgery, or would that really have been too taxing for his limited abilities???

maidamess · 11/08/2008 20:06
  1. Why does he read your posts?
  1. Next time say "I'm not feeling well. I'm going to bed. You'll have to feed yourself" And bugger off upstairs. If he wants to get the hump, he can get the hump,its not your problem.

Don't be a doormat!!

And don't do the frickin washing up either!!

TheArmadillo · 11/08/2008 20:06

If you are really so lazy and incompetant you can't get some food and prepare it yourself then yes you will miss one meal. It's not exactly starving. I didn't realise you were stupider than a 5yo.

I would be incensed if dp said that to me. Jesus my 3yo can get a banana and some rice cakes out the cupboard when I have a really bad migraine. Though going to the shop is a little past him atm.

beanieb · 11/08/2008 20:07

'The shop is down the road, the cooker is over there, I'll be in the bath - I am unwell - good night'

EffiePerine · 11/08/2008 20:07

Does he not have opposable thumbs?

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 11/08/2008 20:08

Appropriate response:

'I'm sorry to hear you don't feel well. Shall I get you some tablets? Cup of tea? Don't worry about dinner, I'll sort it. What do you fancy?'

Habbibu · 11/08/2008 20:08

Ask if he would also like help wiping his arse.

FAQ · 11/08/2008 20:08

tell him to go and buy his own pizza - and he should ask you what you would like to eat and sort it out too.

I've had a shit 2 days, DP has had a shit week - I fell asleep at dinner time for the DS's so hadn't cooked anything, didn't have time to cook what I was planning, and there was no pointing in cooking the whole lot for DP and I to eat for later. He rang (and woke me up thankfully lol) and he just said "we'll get a chinese".....

MrSeaShells - if she's ill, tired, feeling crappy - YOU sort out something to eat - even if it's just baked beans on toast or a takeaway - you're a big boy now so I'm sure you can cope.

expatinscotland · 11/08/2008 20:09

Why enable him like this? If you're tired, that's that. He's able-bodied, he can get his own dinner.

I'll never understand people who put up with this from their partner or spouse. I wouldn't dish that out so I don't take it, either.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 11/08/2008 20:10

well he is capable and usually does try to help when im ill which is why i was a bit at this. especially since he has been making extra effort to help lately.

i do normally tell him to feck off when he behaves this way but i really cannot be bothered to listen to him today.

OP posts:
FAQ · 11/08/2008 20:11

oh FFS GO TO BED.

He can do the washing up!

Overmydeadbody · 11/08/2008 20:13

oh how kind of him making an extra effort to help out recently. Why do you view it as him 'helping out' rather than just doing his fair share?

expatinscotland · 11/08/2008 20:15

looking after oneself, preparing your own food, doing household chores to tidy up the mess you helped create (or the child you chose to bring into the world) is not 'helping out'.

it's being an adult.

EffiePerine · 11/08/2008 20:24

right, go and tell him his pizza is in the oven and then GO TO BED

Tommy · 11/08/2008 20:27

on the very rare weeks when I write a menu planner, sometimes written next to the day is GYO

He knows what that means

Sobernow · 11/08/2008 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EffiePerine · 11/08/2008 20:38

LOL Sobernow

MrsSnape · 11/08/2008 20:44

pmsl @ "curse this human form"

Sounds like an evil genius of some kind!

To the OP, no way would I run around after an adult like this...infact, if I was feeling unwell I'd also expect my 9 year old to make his own tea for one night! he's more than capable and so if your bloody husband.

MrsSnape · 11/08/2008 20:45

so IS your bloody husband even.

notthebubblyseaweed · 11/08/2008 21:10

LOL Sobernow.

Also EffiePerine opposable thumbs.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 11/08/2008 21:50

pmsl @ sobernow ill remember that one. hopefully there wont be a next time so i wont need to use it.

OP posts:
Quattrocento · 11/08/2008 21:53

Oh, we;; it's perhaps for the best. You're expanding a bit around the middle. Didn't like to mention it before ...

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