I need to change my personality

[Kaedsmum]

Sorry for everyone who is tired of me today, I've put a fair few threads on MN. But I'm just sort of having a break through and sorting out my life.

When I was pregnant everything just sort of stopped. I didn't want to be seen or anything, I was paranoid and very overweight and unhappy with myself.

Now my baby's 3 months old. I'm starting to lose weight and I want to wear nice clothes and get back to being me. My DP loves me very much and I know he loves me best when I'm happy and me. Quite often now i'm elf conscious, embarrassed, snappy, self absorbed etc. All because I have a new baby to contend with, sleepless nights, money worries and I might be out of a job next month...

So please MNers, tell me how to get back to being me. I want to be happy go lucky again, I don't want to be jealous or paranoid or bitter, and I'd like to dress nice again and have nice hair and lose weight, but we have no money...

.. can anyone offer some advice?

Clothes - you can find some lovely stuff in charity shops.

hair - volunteer to be a model, people on hairdressing courses are always looking for volunteers - (low risk because they don't let them loose on real people until they are ready!)

weight - I'm the last person to give advice on that! but eat good meals and don't snack! Put the baby in the pushchair and go for nice long walks.

Sometimes, when you wear nice clothes, have your hair done nicely and feel a bit fitter, that itself can make you feel better about yourself emotionally.

You also need time for yourself. Leave the baby with your husband and go out. Even if it is just a wander round the shops, the park or coffee with a friend. Get out there and get some space.

Make time for your husband, do things as a couple. Be slushy

Agree with everything Hectate has said but also it may be worth going to see the GP as it sounds as if you may be suffering from pnd.

you had a baby only 3 months ago, that's no time at all

be kind to yourself

every hecate said

Think back to times when you felt like your true self and what small details made you feel like that and see if you can recreate some of it.

Buy clothes in cheaper shops eg MKOne, QS, Ethel Austin, Matalan, Tescos, H&M, Peacocks (my favourite).

Tip for deep hair conditioning without buying an expensive potion - massage your normal conditioner into DRY hair and leave for a bit. Then shampoo the hair by your scalp as normal and rinse. Then put a bit of conditioner on again and rinse off.

Take Omega 3 oil capsules. As well as the health benefits it lifts your mood a bit and improves the condition of your hair and skin. I've definitely noticed a difference.

If you feel like eating but aren't really hungry, just feel a compulsion to eat, have a cup of coffee - it curbs your appetite. A bit of cider vinegar in a glass of water also works.

Even if you are wearing scruffy clothes, try to wear a nice necklace each day and paint your nails. It does make you feel better! It's the little things that really help!

Remember that confidence makes you look really attractive.

You don't need money to lose weight.
you do need will power and an overhaul of your eating/buying habits. it really is a change of thinking, way of life, than a quick fix.

can you take baby out for awalk more (free excersise)!!

get yourself some fun owrk out dvds or videos from the charity shops whilst your there. start going to mums groups if you dont work and make friends. rather then just cooking to eat trawl the car boots and charity shops for some old recipe books - also the internet - learn to cook lovely foods from scratch. can you get out one evening a week - go to a college class - anthing you like! buy some fabricsprays and cheap candles and when the baby is in bed light them every night - make eating an occasion but stop before you are full! there is loads you can do! I loved the stage your at because i kind of rediscovered myself at that point in time!!

Well I can do it because I lost 5 stone before I got pregnant, it's just that that bit happens slowly and i want to look good now lol.

Yes I think I do have a bit of PND

Thanks Hecate, lovely message.

also make a point of forcing yourself to laugh every day and smile whenever you are out. it becomes a habit and people always smile back at women with babies - world feels a nicer place!

st johns wort - clinically proven as effective as ads with no side effects. also vitamins and minerals are absolutely vital - if your body feels well your mind will!

Yeah in all fairness to him, he does nothing but support me but he wants to make me happy and he's always telling me I'm beautiful and everything.

I'd like to be back to old me for me though.