Update and more questions re husband

[littlemissworry]

So here I am a week further on and I am still questioning all sorts of things. I have talked with husband about the situation and I think he recognises what has happened in the past and how we have got to where we are (have posted on other threads about this). Nevertheless, I'm not sure to what lengths he is prepared to go to get help with his anger. I accept there has been abusive behaviour on his part but I am now worried I am a hypocrite and have not always been as good as I should have been to dcs. There have been times in the past when I have really shouted at them (once in ds2 face ) when I have been pushed, and once or twice really revved the engine of the car and drove off fast when I was angry with them. I know I need to be calmer with them when pushed and am trying to be this way. So I'm thinking, should I put behind me what he has done to me and start again. The thing is, is it different?

[beanieb]

I don't think Racing off in a car when you're angry is a terrible thing. Don't know about the other stuff, but if you really want to end it (assuming you do as you left) then I think you have to gather all your courage and stick to your guns. Guilt is a wasted emotion says my mum, it serves no purpose and does no good for anyone. Your children will be happy so long as they have a stable life and they can have that with their parents being apart so long as you make sure they see you both regularly.

Just because someone is a good dad or even a good man, doesn't mean you have to stick with them if it is making you unhappy.

It takes time but once you have firmly made the decision it gets easier. Don't let him make you feel guilty, it's hard enough to deal with your own feelings of guilt without someone else making it worse. Do what is best for you. be selfish. It's the only way to get through it.

[cocolepew]

God for you. Remember all the bad things that have happened HE has did, not you. Stay strong.

[cocolepew]

Good

[littlemissworry]

I don't know anything about legal rights and I think the time has come to find out. I'm cross because I wanted to keep this friendly (despite being the one who was treated badly) and yet he is making obstacles all the time.