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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I love my DH very much but why does he...?

105 replies

PavlovtheCat · 06/08/2008 10:27

Put laundry next to the laundry bin not in it.
Take toothpaste and brush out of holder, uses then puts on the side next to the holder, not in it.
Use shower gel/shampoo from the bathroom tidy and but it on the side next to the bathroom tidy, not in it.
Take off DDs nappy/pjs in the hallway and leaves them there.
Open his sock drawer fully so it hangs out, and then not close it when he has finished (same with all drawers and cupboard doors).
Leave the bath water in the bath when he has finished.
Leave spilt water over the bathroom floor.
Not make the bed when gets up after me (most of the time).

AAAAAAARGH.

Feel free to add your own

OP posts:
flubdub · 07/08/2008 13:25

Pavlov, please return my DP, he isnt yours, and you cant have him!

LindzDelirium · 07/08/2008 13:27

y'see this is bittersweet cos he is helping by why when I have just dished up and am carrying the plates to the tables does he start washing up saucepans/baking tins? Me and DD have usually finished our dinner by the time he sits down at the table!

cheerfulvicky · 07/08/2008 13:29

Ohh, mine does a few of those things already mentioned as well as:

Blowing his nose and cramming the tissue down side of sofa to reuse again and again. Ugh.
Eating snacks in living room then methodically folding old apple cores, bits of rubbish etc away into whatever plastic bag is lingering around, and then just leaving it there. If I didn't throw them away, they'd be there for months.
Brushing his hair over the sink, filling it with hairs and never cleaning them away.
Tapping out electric shaver into sink and not rinsing the bits away.
Never flushes the loo after a wee.
Washes up only when the pile is up to the ceiling (when its his turn), without rinsing and thus covering all the 'washed' plates in a slick, greasy food-scum. And then piling them up in a complex pattern on the draining board that means if you want anything, it's always on the bottom so you end up putting the lot away to save causing an avalanche, and then having to wipe/rinse off aforementioned slick greasy scum...
Making his sandwiches for work and leaving breadboard covered with crumbs, plus used knives etc on it, in case I want to use them again later. Thoughtful
Dropping his dirty clothes by the bed until I huge pile is created and I nag him for days, then eventually loading machine with it all. Rinse and repeat.
Leaving jars of food with lids off on the counter top, as though he got bored as soon as the ingredient was added to curry/pasta etc and the jar ceased to become meaningful to him.

I could probably go on I love him though, which is lucky...!

flubdub · 07/08/2008 13:34

Why does he;
Walk past milk carton dozens of times(or any other item to go in the recycling bin) when its sat RIGHT INFRONT OF the bk door, and he goes out or a fag every half an hour.

Leave his clothes in a pile in the bathroom so every morning I have to clear away what looks like my 'vanishing' dp.

Leave (unrinsed) toothbrush on the windowsill so every morning I have to clean it.

Leave ds's spat out toothpaste dripping down the sink, instead of rinsing it down, after he has cleaned his teeth at night time.

Wipe the work tops with a scrunched up tea towel (I may have solved your mystery whoever it was) instead of using the kitchen roll.

Walk past any toys, clothes etc that I leave on the stairs to be taken upstais by whoever is next to go up them.

Put washing in the washer, then not tell me about it, and leave it for days.

Chuck teats, dummies and caps in the bottom of the steriliser, even though they have their own special place in the steriliser!!!!!

Put ds in a tshirt, even when its raining.

flubdub · 07/08/2008 13:36

Oh, and makes sandwhiches/toast on the worktops, not on a plate, and leaves crubs EVERYWHERE.

flubdub · 07/08/2008 13:41

Shaves his head on our floorboarded floor in our bedroom, and leaves stubble EVERYWHERE. This drives me bloody mad! And i storm upstairs with the hoover afer everytime.

Stand up, in living room, finishes a drink, puts the EMPTY cup down, then walks into the kitchen! WHHHHYYYYY!

throckenholt · 07/08/2008 13:43

one more (last one - this is getting a bit too cathartic !)

why - when he is beside x, on his way to y, and I say - could you take x to y, does he go to y, do what he was going to do, and then come back and ask - what was it you wanted ?

I only asked because he was right beside x and going to y anyway - so he could combine the journey. He can only do the one thing - it is obviously too confusing to pick up x on the way !!!

flubdub · 07/08/2008 13:54

Leaves little piles of change everywhere, iv just started finding them in candle holder.

Eats food that obv isnt for him, ie, ds's bday is 2 days before xmas, so id done a massive bday/xmas shop. Dp obviously thought that fighting my way round a supermarket a few days before xmas AGAIN, was high on my agenda, so.....he ate ds's party food and i had to go again.
B***D!

Flightputsonahat · 07/08/2008 14:01

Throckenholt, pens go by themselves, not a DH in sight round here and I still lose every single one!

throckenholt · 07/08/2008 14:11

ah - so I can't blame him for the pens ? Hmm - a lot of them end up in his workshop. Maybe yours are there too !

onefootinthegravy · 07/08/2008 14:21

My dh will get a clean top out wear it for about an hour when he gets home from work and rather than hang it up again (to save on washing) he will stuff it on top of his wardrobe - Then after about a week of nagging to put his the pile of clothes away it will be put in the washbin where the washing fairy will wash & iron it - all to be worn again for a bout half an hour....GRRRR
Don't you find its just like terminal Groundhog day !! It is in our house !
Another one is when DH washes up a mess he has made (rare occasion emoticon) He puts all the dishes in the bowl with hot water and fairy and then they stay there soaking??? until someone else actually washes up -

flubdub · 07/08/2008 16:46

bump

Flightputsonahat · 07/08/2008 17:47

The closest I had to a DH I suppose was very lovely indeed, he was about 18...bit younger than me (21)
He used to wear a hairband. I know, he was being post modern and controversial but boy did it wind me up!

He also used to borrow all my jewellery and quite often break it

Other than that he was great...oh and he refused to eat anything that wasn't orange or red. So mashed potato with tinned spaghetti and ketchup was a staple. We cooked separately...

slavemum · 07/08/2008 17:50

Soo good to know that my dh is the only one with these annoying habits!!
Btw, has anyone successfully managed to teach their dh how to change a toilet roll? given up trying....

rubyloopy · 07/08/2008 20:57

Message withdrawn

doodle78 · 07/08/2008 21:02

cant believe this has not been mentioned - skidmarks (eiuw!) - surely mine isnt the only one!?!

And the other really annoying thing - the cleaning frenzy - lets pretend to clean up but just shuffle one pile of crap to a different corner of room and so on...

DwayneDibbley · 07/08/2008 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BabyValentine · 07/08/2008 21:12

Socks! Always dirty ones residing at the foot of the bed.
And spoons! Always teaspoons next to the kettle. Why?

jennieflower · 08/08/2008 17:55

Mine makes himself toast and always takes too much butter on his knife, so after he's finished spreading it on the toast he scrapes it back on the edge of the butter dish. As if anyone would want to eat the skanky toasty butter , every time I point it out to him so he must just do it deliberately to piss me off.

He's also guilty of wearing t-shirts for half an hour then draping them over the dressing table, by the end of the week there's 5 crumpled t-shirts on the dressing table and he complains he's got nothing ironed to wear.

Skid marks in the loo! 5 year old DD calls them poo slides, whenever she finds them she goes off to find him and gets him to clean them off

Reading this thread has inspired me, I think I'm going to get post it notes and leave messages in all his little hot spots to remind him to leave thing as he finds them.

flubdub · 09/08/2008 17:17

bump!!!

lubyluby · 09/08/2008 17:23

monas at me for not hoovering when i've spent all day picking up his wet towles from the bathroom floor, cleaning his scummy soap marks out fo the bath or cleaning the spalsh marks off the shower cubicle, his toothpaste marks off the tap where he puts his whole mouth round the tap to gargle rather than using the mug specifically for this purpose? ironed his clothes that he then throws in the bottom of hios wardrobe or if i'm really lucky he thropwes them on the top shelf in the wardrobe.

not uite sure what it is he does correctly and i hope his paid for work isn;t as sloppy as his home at work otherwise it would be a miracle if he ever got any repeat business.

adviceneededprettyplease · 09/08/2008 19:11

Spooky - I was going to start a thread similar to this today.

Is it because the weather's so dreadful and we're all at home clearing up after dhs/dps?

I shouldn't complain because he's at this moment mending our broken dishwasher.

But for the record:
Leaves receipts, wage slips, skanky used tissues scattered liberally throughout the house.
Can't put anything neatly in a cupboard - it's either left out or thrown in on top of everything else.
Puts away crockery and cutlery from the dishwasher even if it's not clean.
Is incapable of throwing stuff out...I've just emptied the cupboard he stuffs things into and have put it all in a bin bag. It'll go out with the rubbish if he doesn't sort it ruthlessly.

He used to keep hiding the dustban and brush (i.e. taking it into the shed after some DIY so that if I broke a glass or something and needed it quickly it was never to hand). After I lost my rag about six months ago and said I would divorce him if he ever did it again, he stopped - I think he bought one of his own.

And I have a hidden bag with a screwdriver and ball of string in it because those were other things he'd take and never put back.

beanieb · 09/08/2008 19:15

Put laundry next to the laundry bin not in it. - CHECK
Take toothpaste and brush out of holder, uses then puts on the side next to the holder, not in it. CHECK
Use shower gel/shampoo from the bathroom tidy and but it on the side next to the bathroom tidy, not in it. CHECK
Take off DDs nappy/pjs in the hallway and leaves them there. HMMM ABOUT THE NAPPY - THAT'S KIND OF GROSS
Open his sock drawer fully so it hangs out, and then not close it when he has finished (same with all drawers and cupboard doors).
Leave the bath water in the bath when he has finished. CHECK
Leave spilt water over the bathroom floor. CHECK
Not make the bed when gets up after me (most of the time). CHECK

Seems like normal behaviour to me

TracksuitLover · 09/08/2008 19:54

OOOPs, a lot of these things I do! DH just shouted at me for clearing up the children's tea things but dumping the piled up plates etc with left over food and baby wipes still in, straight in the sink without putting anything in the dishwasher or bin!

DH does some of the things above but because I am even more slapdash and slovenly than him I don't care!

I don't like wet bath towels on the bed though.

And he gets throwing away frenzies like someone else said, but throws away stuff of mine which he thinks is rubbish but is very important to me.

He is always going on about what a good husband he is and how lucky I am to have him and asking me if he is better than my friends' husbands and he says it slightly accusingly as if I don't deserve him because I am not a good wife.

He has never been wrong in an argument in his opinion and never apologised. He can't take any criticism.

He can't talk/listen to me about problems/emotions for very long before he gets angry.

He doesn't sympathise if I have had a hard day or if I am ill but makes it a competition and goes on about how hard he works and how I can't have been as ill as he was when he had the same illness a couple of days ago. He becomes useless and goes to bed but when I'm ill I still have to carry on and look after the children and do the housework (not that I do a lot, we live in a bit of a state).

He often just doesn't listen to me at all but stares at the TV or lets the DCs interrupt.

He seems to think everything his mother says is right and I feel he would take her side over mine.

When we go to his parents' house he becomes about 10 again and does absolutely nothing while I do everything with the children and his mum waits on him hand and foot. And his parents think it is correct that I should do everything! He has been brought up to think all he has to do is earn money.

MNHQ2 · 09/08/2008 20:23

Are you married to me Pavlov? LOL