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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

now what should I do?

9 replies

Titania · 11/02/2005 11:55

Yes another one from me.....

My mum has sent ds2 a card with £10 in it. She didn't bother sending anything for christmas. Not even a card. It has been about 8 months since I spoke to her last and I have no desire to. Yet whenever she does something like this it throws me. She sent it to our old address and it's been redirected, so at least she doesn't know where I am. Should I email/text her asking not to send anymore? Ignore it? Or say thank you. I don't want an arguement with her. I haven't put the card on display and I didn't even let the children see the card as I recognised the writing and opened it myself. I don't want the children to get confused. They Don't even mention her anymore. Thanks.

OP posts:

Lonelymum · 11/02/2005 11:56

Did you try anything last time she sent a card? I remember you getting very upset about this back in the autumn. Did you try anything then or just ignored it?

Original poster

Titania · 11/02/2005 12:12

i sent her a text saying thank you but that was it. then she started texting me back with all her problems like nothing had happened......she said she still loved me etc etc but in the end I ignored any other messages and she gave up.

OP posts:

Lonelymum · 11/02/2005 12:13

Do you really never want to hear from her again? If the answer is yes, I would try texting her saying please do not send anything else in the future. Then at least you have told her where you stand.

Original poster

Titania · 11/02/2005 12:21

yes i do not want anything more to do with her. She has ruined my life and done things that cannot be forgiven. If i text that to her she will just start argung with me via text. Its almost easier to hide and ignore the cards. I don't want them and I don't want her money.

OP posts:

catgirl · 11/02/2005 12:22

sorry, don't know history, but if you really don't want contact/open up contact again, could you not return to her 'not known at this address'? If this is a bit harsh, and you want acknowledge the card/money, maybe send a note (therefore no texting back?) saying thanks, have donated the money to charity of my choice??

Original poster

Titania · 11/02/2005 12:24

trouble is if i put it noy known at this adress then they wouldnt know where to send it to, unless I put the adress on it.

OP posts:

catgirl · 11/02/2005 12:24

another thought - if you do ignore it, eventually the redirection will stop redirecting and therefore post will tail off anyway.

catgirl · 11/02/2005 12:26

sorry, maybe I am missing something, but if you want nothing to do with her, and that includes cards/money, then surely the fact that she doesn't know where you live is a good thing?

Lonelymum · 11/02/2005 15:49

Catgirl is right Titania, just ignore the card and eventually the PO will stop forwarding your mail (how long have you asked for it to be forwarded? -usually they do it for six months or a year but you may have asked for a shorter time) and then your mum won't be able to contact you by mail anymore. You might consider changing your phone number too although that might be a nuisance because you would have to make sure people you do want to stay in contact with have your new number.

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