How do I tell him I'm not using his name for DD?

[HollowHead]

Firstly, apologies for the name change but I think my friend also uses the site and would recognise my usual name.

I am pregnant and our baby is due in October. When I first got pregnant DH joked around saying if it was a boy I could name him but if it was a girl it was down to him. I jokingly went along with this thinking there was no point making a massive deal out of it when it may turn out to be a boy.

Anyway we have been told we are expecting a girl.

DH has decided that she "just has to be called after his gran". The name he wants is "Stockard". His grandma was called this and his mum has it for a middle name and so he thinks it would be nice to bring the name back with our DD.

I HATE the name, no offense to anyone who knows a Stockard but I think it is hideous. It sounds like a warehouse company or something. I didn't say anything at first, I just smiled and later brought the subject up by saying stuff like "shall we look through some baby names?" etc. He'd always smile back and say "I've decided on Stockard..."

Last week I sat him down and said whilst I didn't want to seem disrespectful to his family, I really don't think Stockard suits a modern day baby girl and he ended up turning it around that I always get my own way and if it had been a boy I would have chosen a name whether he liked it or not etc but I never had any intentions of carrying out this daft idea of "you name a boy, I'll name a girl". Its bloody childish. But of course he thinks I'm only saying that because he got to name the baby.

I have NO intentions of calling the baby Stockard. It's horrible. What's the best way to approach this? tell him straight and risk a row or try and pursuade him with other names or what? its really starting to get me down because I don't want to be arguining over stuff like this.

Perhaps your father-in-law might be an ally! Few men would in a perfect world want their granddaughter named after their mother-in-law.

Paolosgirl, most people can find that middle ground between a name that is not in the top ten and 'Stockard'. There is no comparison.

No way, I know hw u feel on this one, my partner wantd to call our son "John" if was a boy n no offence to anyone who has a son Called this etc, I myself have an uncle called this but just didn't like it, hated it in fact, so I suggested "Ellis" He hated it, n when our son was born (we never knew beforehnd he was a boy) we bth jus decided on JACK as the only nice name we both agreed on n if it had bn a little girl my partner wanted her to be called "Lorna" after his late mum which I loathe even more than John, again, sorry for any offence, also have a cousin clled Lorna,I didn't even want it as a girl's middlename either , so had to sit him down and have the same talk u did and tell him I did not want t disrespect him or his family but I did not like it, and it was my baby too, his family were trying t get me to call a baby girl this too, way I saw it, was our baby not hs family's, so dig yr bloody heels in!! Yr decision 2, I didn't call my son Ellis as my partner hated it even tho I LOVED it and STILL do,so he has to come n go with u

tell him to grow up and get fucked.

you both have to like what you cal your kids, this isn't a " i want a racing car" conversation - its a child.

knobjockey

How would he like it if you demanded she was called after your grandmother and it was a name that he hated? Also, how would he like it if you had a boy and demanded that he was named after your favourite grandfather- Cuthbert?

It has to be a name that you both like but you get the ultimate say because it's you that's giving birth. Tell him if he wants a baby called Stockhard then he'd better get pregnant.

Is there no one you could get as an ally. Are his family keen on this idea?? If they weren't you'd have a bit more leverage with him maybe.

I was stuck with soemthing similar. My DP wanted to call our DS2 after his dad who sadly died the month DS2 was conceived. I agreed to it as a middle name although I absolutely hate it but didn't feel I could really argue the point in view of the circumstances (name's Leibert in case you were wondering???)

I just had to add here that surely it has nothing to do with who is giving birth to the child, after all your DH is capable of doing so.

It is only to do with the fact as people have said that you both have to like the name. Even if a couple agree that one of them has more say over the name, the other parent has to LIKE the name for god's sake. It is crazy that your DH is thinking it is OK to name a child something it's mother doesn't like. Power issues?

How is DH capable of giving birth - is he a (s)he?

Actually Edam if the OP is married her DH can register the birth without her. Something to remember there hollowhead.

You must be strong and tell him it ain't happening.

Oops, your DH is NOT capable of doing so.