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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Mysterious Skill of Flirting

44 replies

Earlybird · 09/02/2005 21:56

Flirting....do you do it? (I tend to think of it as something I used to know how to do when I was much younger...) I have been single too long, so could use some girly tips, from someone other than that bird on telly who says you should show some tasteful cleavage, and stroke your own neck while talking to a man! Can't imagine - I would feel so silly!

OP posts:
Branster · 09/02/2005 21:58

oh, i love flirting!!! touch your hair or stroke your neck?! it all depends on what you're saying to him as well. it just comes to you once you start. i'd say showinf too much flesh looks a bit desperate so i would necessarily advice on that.

beansprout · 09/02/2005 22:01

Obviously I am never, ever going to flirt again, ever, but what used to be quite good was lots of smiling and eye contact when talking to my prey

Beetroot · 09/02/2005 22:02

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Skribble · 09/02/2005 22:02

I flirt a lot and I am married.

kernowcat · 09/02/2005 22:03

Sorry I'm far too girly to answer!
off to watch DH now giggle giggle!!
(thats Desperate Housewives NOT dear hubbie!!!!!!)

snafu · 09/02/2005 22:04

I once heard that when you've caught the eye of your potential conquest, you should blink slowly and keep your eyes shut just a fraction of a second longer than you usually would. Apparently it looks very sensual and seductive?

Failing that, tie your skirt up around your neck.

Earlybird · 09/02/2005 22:11

I'm a reasonably confident person, but feel paralyzed with shyness when it comes to flirting. Wish I could convince myself that it's all a bit of fun, but I freeze up and then probably come across as snobby, disinterested, unavailable, etc.......

OP posts:
Redhotmamma · 09/02/2005 22:38

I was told recently that to flirt you should touch someone's lower arm when talking to them I am married too but have been trying this out and it really works. Also a lot of flirting is done by text messaging these days but that predates me and DH getting it together so I am definitely not one to ask for advice on that.

stupidgirl · 09/02/2005 22:42

IMHO it's all in the eye-contact.

Beetroot · 09/02/2005 23:05

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Branster · 09/02/2005 23:14

i think you're right Redhotmamma

Caligula · 09/02/2005 23:19

I'm in the Stupidgirl corner.

stupidgirl · 09/02/2005 23:24

Wow, someone agrees with me! How unusual

hatsoff · 09/02/2005 23:24

eye contact and light touch. But I think I.ve now reached the stage of being the mum flirt. A (male) friend of mine's mum is an outrageous flirt with all his friends, but she does it through making large amounts of cups of tea. telling them she doesn't mind them smoking "wacky baccy", picking them up from teh pub, maknig more cups of tea, but all with lots of eye contact. Frued would have a field day in that house I can tell you

Chandra · 10/02/2005 00:03

Just repeat the last word they say when having a conversation, it makes them think you care and are paying attention even when in reality you don't understand a thing (It works, I got a proposal from a nuclear physicist who thought nobody could understand him the way I did, it worked wonders with DH as well and gave me some time to find out what the hell was his research about before he thinking I was plainly stupid

Bugsy2 · 10/02/2005 14:37

Love flirting, it is so much fun and I've had lots of practice recently.
My top tips would be to listen attentively, lots of eye contact, look impressed, smile alot, lean towards your flirt subject. Repetition of their words is a really top tip and if you can do a bit of body contact: knees brushing or a light touch on the arm - even better!!!!
Practice next time you are with a man - in any situation - flirting doesn't have to be sexual. Give whoever you are talking to a big, open smile and pat them on the arm as you say goodbye or as you walk away turn and give them a big smiley wave.
Oh, I could talk about this for ages.

joash · 10/02/2005 15:16

Love it! Love it! Love it! Love it! Love it! Love it! Love it!

Love to flirt - soooooo much fun.

bundle · 10/02/2005 15:25

have you seen the film, Flirting? magical...

motherinferior · 10/02/2005 15:36

I realise I used to do a revoltingly Di-like simper up through my lashes, which even more revoltingly worked.

It probably helps to be short, for that one.

motherinferior · 10/02/2005 15:40

I do think cleavage helps, I have to say.

I have an old friend who tends to feel she is flirting torridly when in fact her body language is only mildly attentive. The thing is, this worked when we first knew each other, aged 20, when she tended towards fishnets and miniskirts and vertiginous heels. These days her chinos and trainers do not give out the same keen signals, I always think.

DillyDally · 10/02/2005 15:51

Watch the Emily Howard sketches on Little Britain - look and learn

WideWebWitch · 10/02/2005 15:53

Men aren't difficult to flirt with ime. I agree with Bugsy, listen to them and make them think a) they're the most fascinating person on earth and b) you want to shag them and then you've got them usually. Also licking your lips and looking at a man's mouth works. They're simple things, men MI's right about cleavage too.

batters · 10/02/2005 16:08

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CountessDracula · 10/02/2005 16:10

When he asks you what you're into say "dirty sex and gourmet cookery". Gets em every time

nutcracker · 10/02/2005 16:11

I really really really miss flirting. Was quite a flirt at school, not always intentionally though.

I miss it alot, makes life so boring when you've got no one to flirt with.