after everything h has done, I have told him there is no hope of reconciliation. *I* fnished it this time...

[averyquickex]

I am sure you read my posts before.
h having an affair and walking out on our family. Then saying he wants me back but still being friends with ow, helping her move etc, supporting her. And still havein sex with her after he has told me he wants to get back together

I told him today - if he wont show me the texts they have sent each other than I am saying there is no hope of us ever getting back. He refused (wonder why ).
he says he is doing the right thing by supporting her while she has no one else (because she split with bf to be with h), that I am being unreasonable to ask him to just dump her while so much shit is going on in her life. I told him he is putting her feelings above mine (cos obvioulsy there is NO shit going on in my life....) . He says he doesnt want to cause anymore hurt. except for me it appears.

So after all the lying, the deceit he has caused, and me even SPELLING OUT what he needs to do, he will not stop seeing her. And if he really wants me back, he would do that.
So I told him tonight. Itis over, I can get over the affair, but I cant get over his behaviour afterwards.

I feel like shit now. But I think I have accepted who he is, how he wont change. How I can never be with that man anymore.

I am moving on.

and [happy]

indeed. his family are evil c*nts... And I am relieved that I will never have to deal with them again, but I am still hurt by their actions.

thing is I told him if he really wants me back, he has the opportunity today and today ONLY to call her and dump her on speakerphone. And he did, but unfortunately she didnt answer. And to call his mum and tell her, and he did (but she didnt answer). I checked who he was calling and everything, and they genuinely didnt answer. Will try again tonight and keep you posted.

Not sure how to play this one now, as I really dont want him back - he disgusts me, and I think he is doing this because he is worried I may be about to date another man and that is why he is doing this. But I am having a bit of fun getting him to jump through hoops... And I havent promised him anything. Think I might just do exactly what he did to me....

But dont judge me, I know I am being evil, but let me have my fun...

Just read that with the family

Any particular reason why they thought it fair to inflict so much more hurt on top of everything else??

because, as I said earlier, they are evil c*nts.
They love shit stirring. When bil left his gf when she had just had a baby (like 1 month old!), instead of telling him to sort things out and grow up, she helped him move outm and stirred like crazy.
I am under no illusion as to the nasty pieces of work they are. And as I said, I never have to deal with them again.
Cant wait to hear what his mum says when he tells he we wants to get back together with me.

Quite honestly, with parents like that, you can see exactly where he came from and what the chances are of him changing. Basically, none.

My XH's family are a selfish, gleefully malicious bunch. How could I ever have thought XH would be different? Yet I did.

It's hard to accept that you have perceived xh wrongly all that time. But it's necessary, in order for you to stop grieving death of the relationship, and move on with hope.

a selfish, gleefully malicious bunch
what a perfect description!

there's a lot of it about, you know

ahhhhhhhh- very quick i am so sorry to hear you are still going through all of this. you really really have to cutties with him = how many times is this now he has lied to you about her. so sorry but proud that you stood up to him and hope your ds is doing oxxx

well he really did do it!
I still dont believe anything, and dont trust him, but he really did do it.

I made it clear to him that I was going to cut him off today, and told him that I asked him to do it as a lead up to that, expecting him to say no. But that he has surprised me.
I told him I am not ready to even try to take him back, that I dont know what I want, that I dont trust him, and that I want to see other people first (so that if I do take him back, its becasue I want him not because it's familiar). I said I will be his friend, for the sake of ds, but that I dont want anything else, but maybe in time we will find that spark again.
And he just said - whatever you want I will do it.

So, he has a lot to prove, and I dont really care either way, as I was ready to just get him to leave us alone. I dont trust him and I dont know if I ever will, but he really did dump her in front of me.

Oh well, only time will tell, and in the meantime I am going away on holiday, and possibly meeting up with an old school friend

Mine did too She just continued to pursue him dick that he is he couldn't say no
Sorry

well like I said, I dont really care either way. But if he really tries to rebuild my trust then that opens up another option in the future.