DH has been really slagging me off

[Tamachi]

DH belongs to a car forum and I've never looked at it before (not interested in cars) but this morning I had a quick look on out of curisoity and he has been REALLY slagging me off.

There were loads of posts from him taking the piss out of me, saying stuff like he'd have more sex if he were a monk, if he had to be with me more than he already is he'd be up for murder and there was another one which he only wrote last night which was a huge rant going on about how much I irritated him. He detailed how I don't put CD's back in their cases, how dvd's end up in the wrong boxes because I'm so lazy, how everything gets lost because i'm so disorganised. What a grumpy cow I am, how I wear the same pyjamas an 8 year old girl would wear and one that really upset me was that he said I don't often wear make up and when I do I look like a drag queen.

I have not told him about what Ive seen but I have been 'off' with him since I read them, he has noticed there is something wrong but I can't bring myself to talk to him about it, I almost feel embarrassed.

What would you do if you were me? am I being too sensitive? I know we tend to slag blokes off on here but I just feel so sad and offended by it

oh i think i get what you mean cod! it's a bit like the threads that talk about dhs talking to other women on facebook or something like that, in my day men met other women in pubs and stuff, not 'online'

It's understandable that you're upset but everyone needs a rant at times and he was ranting at a bunch of strangers that neither he nor you will ever meet, in what he thought was a private space. If his behaviour is otherwise lovely, then try not to make too big a deal of it.

I know partners get slagged off on here - especially by me but I would still be gutted if I read some of the things that the OP's husband said. The make up thing and the PJ's would really bother me. Would make me wonder what other irritants and dislikes he had for me under the surface that he wasn't telling me. I certainly would say something to him about it.

As for the spending time thing it would make me just not want to bother making the effort for him at all. I hate the idea that I am going along thinking things are fine but deep down the other person dislikes certain aspects of you and is thinking about them and then slagging you off on a public forum. Really disloyal. I don't say anything on here that I wouldnt say to my h.

Does it matter what some women say about their DHs/Ps whatever on here? That doesn't make it OK when it's the other way round does it?

Tamachi, I would be upfront with your DH and say you saw this stuff online and were really upset by it. Hopefully he will apologise and be able to reassure you. People can get a bit carried away with this sort of thing.

BTW jesuswhatnext plenty of folk meet and chat online you know..it's not that odd!

Just wondering, what made you look at what he had written?

No, I don't think it's ok either way around.

TBH, I thought the OP might be someone's DH coming on here to make a (valid) point about how many (not most, not all) of us talk about our DHs or DPs on here.

Oh FFS. Everyone occasionally rants horribly about a partner because everyone gets irritable or frustrated or upset with partners. And the OP's DH was ranting to strangers on a site he didn't expect her to look at (ie he was letting off steam safely rather than ranting to a friend who might for some reason say something to his DW.)
What were you doing nosying on that site, OP? Are you desperately curious? If so, you've had the old lesson about eavesdroppers well rammed home by the sound of it.
If you were snooping because you suspect your DH is up to something, then that's a different issue and one you need to address before you start insisting on the right to police all his communications.

I dunno, I think ranting to (safe, sensible) friends is more sensible than ranting to the entire world on a website. (And yeah, in theory, these things are anonymous - but given that several people have easily worked out who I am on here ...)

It's not really eavesdropping when it's a public conversation is it?

My DH found some stuff online that was really not meant for his eyes (or anyone who knows me/him for that matter).

He was left with absolutely no doubt that eavesdroppers/snoopers never find out anything they want to know.