I am upset with my friend...

[PavlovtheCat]

She shouted at my 2 year old. Really really shouted at her, probably more like screamed at her, for pushing a swing chair too hard with her son sitting on it (who as it seems was loving it).

So loudly that the entire garden stopped what they were doing, sudden silence. So loudly that my legs went to jelly.

I was so stunned/angry/overwhelmed I walked off. DD apparently went silent, face crestfallen and followed me. She came up to me, put her arms around my legs and sobbed.

DD told her that we do not speak to her like that.

She apologised.

I am still upset.

Hmmm....I would think there must be a reason for someone to overstep the mark that much (as it seems she recognised)...maybe you can talk to your dd about it tomorrow, and explain your friend made a mistake, and you're sorry you didn't try and sort it out better. TBH, I think your friend should have apologised to your dd first, then you. It was she who she upset most.

madlentileater I said that exact same thing to DH, that she should have said sorry to DD, first and foremost, and then to me/DH.

I did explain to DD. Once we got home and I felt a bit 'safer' I guess with no-one else around (were a few people at friend's house) I sat down with her and explained that I should not have let some-one else shout at her and not say something. I told her that no-one has our permission to shout at her like that, and that even I promise to try never to shout at her (i thought I would say try, in case I can't keep my promise) and if I did, I will apologise straight away as it is wrong to do it. And gave her the biggest cuddles in the world, until she struggled to get down. And she felt so vulnerable.

She did not care, just wanted to play with her new pillow and avoid bed, but I felt like I had to explain to her. I felt so bad.

Don't feel bad then. You've explained what happened as best you can, and she isn't upset. Ok for her to know that sometimes grown ups make mistakes.

Thanks Madlentileater, appreciate your kind words!

I guess this is the first of other conflicts I might have with parents over the years if they dare cross my little girl!