My birth parents are visiting me from over seas. It's complicated. My adoptive parents died 4 and 6 years ago. My dd is 3.
My bmom is, er, quite a strong flavour. she speaks at length but without thought. My bfather is in the early stages of dimentia. I have a bsis and bro - the whole lot are a package - you can't pick and choose really and I especially want to maintain good relations with my bsis.
But they do drive me crazy. My bmom has strong views on parenting e.g. she wonders why parents these days have such problems getting their kids to sleep. After all - I slept very easily. But perhpas that is not surprising as I was left alone, in my cot, i while she worked, until I was adopted at about 9 mo. I think it's not rocket science, to see that a baby that is left alone for at least 8 hours a day will probably not cry very much - it's the ultimate cry it out tactic with bells on.
I feel that there is thinly veiled critism of my pandering to dd. And I am trying not to say that I maybe go a bit the other way with dd because I don't want her to be as meessed up as her mother which I think is due to a) my bmom's lousey genes and b) her lousey parenting (she never interacts with dd - hasn't a clue). I have diluted the lousey genes and hopefuly I can be a different parent.
I'm going to go mad listening to this - from the poster woman for parenting. Now I know she has had a very hard life in many ways and I am sympathetic. But I want my dd to be secure and loved, and maybe I baby her a bit more than I should and maybe we pay her more attention than is absolutely necessary but she is with a CM 3 days/week too.
It's pointless to get worked up about it I know and I want this visit to go smoothly. They are old now, I want us to end, whenver that is, on easy terms. I dont' want to fall out - and that would be easy as she is that kind of person who can say a lot of the kind of thing she would not want to hear.
I just get so frustrated.