Do you tell your dh *everything*?

[mollipops]

Just wondered if I am the only one who feels like they keep certain things from their dh; sometimes just to keep the peace IYKWIM, other times because it just doesn't seem important, either to me or to him. I know there are times when I tell him things and he doesn't really listen anyway!

There are sometimes mischievous things the kids do during the day that I don't share as I know he will only get upset and it has already been long dealt with; prices of haircuts/clothes/shoes that I shave a little off if he asks; crazy little thoughts and ideas I get that he wouldn't understand, but I tell my girlfriends, (who do!)

I hope this doesn't sound as if I am completely secretive and we never talk, cos we do, and we very seldom disagree, and have the same sense of humour and pov on most things. But there seems like some things he just doesn't need to know...anyone else feel the same way?

Absolutely everything. I do sometimes think that he isn't really listening, but the has an uncanny ability to repeat what he has heard, so when I ask him what I just said, he knows - even though I know ot wasn't being really listened to. It is SO annoying.

Miggy my dh does things like that too. And don't you love it when they try to watch tv over your shoulder while they pretend they're listening to you??!!

Mollipops I do exactly the same as you - I tell dh a lot of things, but I also keep quite a bit to myself. Like the cost of things I've bought, thoughts that I've had, or things that would upset him or make him angry if I told him. So there you go - as long as long as it's not full-on deception, I think it's quite normal to keep some things to yourself.

My grandmother told my mother that she was told : "No matter how much you love them, it doesn't hurt to blind them in one eye BUT NOT IN BOTH". My mother told me. Who I am to break family tradition? ;-)

Eulalia, are you married to my dh or am I married to yours?? It is SO good to know that somebody understands what I mean .... sometimes he asks me a question and if I don't answer in the exact and precise manner he thinks I should i.e. if I put in some unnecessary detail, he just butts in and repeats the question in this sort of 'didn't you hear what I said' way which makes me absolutely fume ... sorry, I'm ranting now!
Genia, I too used to live under the misconception that my dh would be my soulmate - reality has now kicked in I'm afraid
Anyway, I'm very envious of those of you who have a dh/dp who is like a best friend .... make the most of it.

Tell him most things. The one area I don't bother 'sharing' is any plans relating to my parents or brothers and sisters and they always changes plans all the time and poor dh just cannot keep up, so if anything is about to materialise from the plans then I tell dh at the last minute.

I know that he doesn't really listen to what I am saying all the time, and in a way it is nice to get stuff out of my system without worrying about what the 'listener' thinks, cos he ain't listening!

I tell dh most things but as a reverse, he tells me most things too and I admit that I pretend I'm listening when I'm really watching the telly also!!

aha Bluestar, I've got one of those. He spent most of the gripping second episode of The Lost Prince last weekend reading me bits from the motoring section of the Telegraph and the rest of it crashing about with the ironing board when it became obvious I wasn't listening.
We tell each other a lot as a rule and that came into its own when we had to face a bereavement together this summer. But we both have our little secrets...mine is magazines and his is packets of Skittles.

Dh is a man of very little words, but does not seem to mind me burbling away at him. Having said that, I've noticed that now that the tables are turned and he's the one at home all day with the sluglet, that I'm greeted the minute I get in with a detailed rendition of her every move, including her food intake and the precise contents of her nappies.

I have a really social job, so I find it relaxing NOT to talk. We often chuckle when we go out to dinner as we sit there, eating, saying absolutly nothing to each other except maybe a comment on the food. We're sure anyone watching us would think we'd had a huge row.

I witter away constantly to DH and tell him just about everything. The cost of any clothing or shoe purchases are however automatically halved which seems to work very well - I have even had him congratulate me on getting a bargain!.

CookieMonster - oh yes it is all very familiar! Having said that we can be like good pals too - he just has to be in the right mood... other times its best avoiding him as he can be well grumpy! I can usually get my own back on him these days. I usually make some sarcastic remark like - "I'll give you all the information beforehand and then you tell me exactly how to say it". He is bad for butting in asking for information when I am telling him something and I have to say "I was JUST ABOUT to tell you that - be patient!" and that kind of throws it back at him.... anyway I am rambling now too ....

I tell my dp everything I want him to know but most especially I don't tell him how much I spend on books and same here I automatically cook the books where prices of things are concerned.

I tell dh 99%. For one thing, he truely doesn't give a monkey's how much I (over)spend, even tho I do and I always feel guilty! Secondly, he's a terrible gossip and loves hearing all the trivia from my work as well as telling me the news from his.
The only thing I don't always tell him is the extent I've felt a bit low recently, because he worries. I've had 2 bereavements in the last year and although I tell him what I'm feeling most of the time, sometimes I just need to keep it to myself.

So glad to know I'm not the only one - I was starting to feel bad about it...guess it's normal as someone said to keep some things to yourself - I'm sure they do it too! Although there are times when dh tells me about the gorgeous woman he saw on the train/bus etc, and I wish he wouldn't! Why do they feel the need to tell us things like that, but then forget to tell us something important (like buying a telly, iota! ) And my dh is the same - when I launch into a story he can tell will include every minute detail, I can just see his eyes glaze over...

And it is pointless trying to tell or ask him anything when the cricket/footy is on (mind you, it's pointless him asking me anything when ER, Will & Grace or countless other shows are on, so I guess we're even!)

Agree with whoever said that they only told their DH everything they wanted him to know. I edit huge parts of my life because DH is simply not interested. To be brutally honest, his favourite topic of conversation is him and the rest only interests him in so much as it impacts on his wallet or is of entertainment value.