I REALLY dislike my friends daughter

[MrsMissMs]

I have changed my name for this because I think I'm going to come off really badly but I need to get it down and hopefully get some opinions.

My friend and I have been friends for around 6 years when our children first started nursery. They're 9 now.

Her daughter always irritated me, even when she was 3 she was so bossy, whingy...everytime we went out anywhere he daughter would be nagging for stuff every 5 minutes. When they started reception she tried to totally take over DS, she told him what games he was allowed to play, who he was allowed to play with (i.e. nobody other than her) it drove me nuts. Even the teachers told me she was giving him a hard time but all friend could say was "she's like me, a bossy cow" .

Year 1 was the same, she had to be in charge and would scream and cry if he tried to play with anyone else and one time he even got into trouble for making her cry this way.

Anyway the story stayed the same over the years and now they're 9 I just can't stand her. She struts about as if she owns the place, she can't WALK anywhere, she has to dance, showing off CONSTANTLY. She flings her head in the air if DS speaks out of turn (i.e. tells her what he really thinks), sneers at him, looks down her nose at him when she speaks yet refuses to leave him alone at the same time. CONSTANTLY bossing him around. She's bossy with the kids at school too, not just DS. What she wants SHE GETS WHEN SHE WANTS IT. It drives me bloody nuts.

Friend doesn't take it seriously, I have tried to limit time spent with her but it doesn't work, she just turns up here.

Now I'm pregnant and we have found out its a girl and I'm devestated. She has totally turned me against girls and I honestly couldn't cope with a kid like that.

Your baby's a girl.

Your baby isn't this girl.

You will be bringing up your baby girl and you'll have a lot to do with what she's like.

Stop stressing, you hormonal baggage

I know a girl like this, but I also have two girls of my own and they are nothing like that girl.

As hunker said, it is you that will be bringing her up not this other girls mother. Your ds could of turned out just like this girl, but he didn't because of the way you parented him.

MMM don't worry your DD couldn't POSSIBLY be as bad as that!!!!

No- seriously don't worry you will love her as much as your DS!

On the matter of the "friend" .... I had one like this & we had to call a halt to visits becasue DD2 was a nightmare when she had been playing with the other girls. You have the advantage of the gender difference -could you say to your firend that you think they are growing up & he is getting to the "I hate girls" stage so he'd llike nore space? What does yur DS think?

Honestly she sounds a nightmare & I say this as mum of two DD's who could do their fair share of flouncing & showing off at that age!

Hunker is right

Just because your friend's daughter is a child doesn't mean that you have to like her. I have known a few kids in my time who I haven't liked. It's human nature - we can't get on with everyone, young or old, so don't feel bad about it.

Your daughter will bve lovely, I am sure.

BTW, I have known boys who display the same characteristics as ytour mate's DD. It's down to parenting, not gender

Now stop fretting and eat some chocolate

The way your friend's daughter is has very little to do with her extra X chromosome and a lot to do with the parenting she gets. Think about it -- you're a girl and you're not like that, and your DS has been parented by you and isn't like that. Both of these are far more relevant to how your DD will turn out than how a completely unrelated nine-year-ld behaves.

ha!
wait a couple more years, and it will get even worse.
my best friends son, i cant stand. i certainly dont want him around my kids. as a cosequence, i rarely see her any more. its very sad

I would just tell your friend that your ds doesn't like playing with her dd and let your son know he does not have to play with her. Invite other kids over for playdates and get some new pals for your ds.

I would aslo ask the teacher to make sure she's not bossing him in the playground.

Your poor ds. I have 2 girls and they are a little bossy with each other but i wouldn't let them do it to anyone else.

I doubt parenting has much to do with personality.

But you don't have to like every child.

My own 3 boys are chalk and cheese (and one more) personality wise. Let alone being like someone else's child.

Think of it this way, you already have a blueprint on how not to raise a daughter

A friend of mine has a DD like this. Totally from the family equality school to the point where she plays her parents off each other in their enthusiasm to accomidate all her needs above their own. I worry about how she's going to cope in the real world to be honest. She has no humilty and barges over people feelings. I think secondry school will be a nightmare for her.

Not all girls are the same, don't panic.
Do you have other freinds from Sschool over for playdates with your son?
Work with the teaches to make sure he is not being domineered.
Is you son happy with this friendship?
Best not to confriont people when you're pregnant

i had a friend like this and i am afraid as bad as it sounds i cut ties with her.

i wont be petty and list all that annoyed me but she was very selfish and made my own dd's life a misery when we were together, dd was not allowed to play with this other girls toys but this girl wanted all dd's toys when round here and would follow her around if dd had something in her hand and whinge till dd did not want it anymore.

i spend me whole time with my friend and this girl acting like referee and feeling guilty about the fact that i had such a strang dislike to a child.

it was really not worth the hassle, since then a few other people have mentioned in converstion to me that this girl is one child they could not take to which oddly enough makes me feel slightly better.

dont worry about your little girl being anything like this. my dd1 is the most chilled/laid back/ easy child ever and dd2 is a hyperactive distructive disaster area. if i can get 2 such diffrent children out the same gene pool you should be ok

i have three girls and NONE are like this. dont worry.

yes, most fo the girls I know are lovely!

I think it's sad to cut ties with a friend 'cos of their kids. Things like this are usually a phase and they grow out of it. My friend's ds used to be awful to my ds. Guess what - he's the total opposite now and they get on really well. Now it's my turn to have parents moaning about my other ds who is being a pain. It's swings and roundabouts.

Does your DS like her? My DD has a friend who we think is annoying, but she likes him, which is what matters! Maybe he likes a dominant woman

However, if he doesn't and is feeling fed up with it, use bossybritches idea - are there othere potential friends around?

I'm sure your new baby will not turn out like her, because you will know the pitfalls to avoid whilst bringing her up.

i love my girlfriend but not her 30 year old daughter and i am meeting them for lunch. she isn't crazy about me eather. i don't want to make things difficult for my girlfriend so how should i act? i know she is going to be picking me apart in her mind. should i direct the conversation towards her? she loves to be the center of attention. it could turn out good or bad. what do you think?